Back a few weeks ago when we went to see Ice Age 2, it was brought to my and Amanda’s attention that Tara has never been to NYC. We talked about it all night and decided that we were going to go before the semester was over. April 28 and 29 were selected as the days, Amanda even wrote it down on my PDA blocker. So I began counting down the days as did Tara, but we didn’t talk much about it. Last week, I asked Tara if she was excited yet, and she was, but Amanda piped in: “Wait, we are actually going?” This marked the start of Operation: Constant Badgering.
Amanda proclaimed that we couldn’t go because she had three Monday exams to study for. Tara and I would not take “no” for an answer. Tara developed and executed a perfect two-day long guilt trip which Amanda had no choice but to give in to.
When Friday finally rolled around everyone was pretty stoked, mostly because we are college students and the likelihood of us actually pulling this off was slim to none. After many words of warning from Tara’s Mom and Amanda’s Mom, we were off.
“The Nick Casanova, 8-Hour, Hurricane walking Tour of New York City”
12:00 Park the car on 59th street
Central Park: Walk to Belvedere Castle and back
Take the “1” to Chambers Street
Battery Park to see Lady Liberty and Ellis Island from a far
Walk up Broadway past the NYC Bull & Trinity Church
Hang a right onto Wall Street
Federal Hall and NYSE
Pass by South Street Seaport
Little Italy Pizzeria
City Hall Park
Walk across the Brooklyn Bridge
Take the “6” to 32rd Street
Empire State Building
Herald Square, Macy’s
Bryant Park, New York Public Library
Grand Central Terminal
Jamba Juice for a much needed pick me up
Times Square, Toys R Us
Marriot Marquis in Times Square to ride the super cool glass elevators
Walk up Fifth Ave to FAO Schwartz/The Plaza
Time Warner Center
8:00 Back at the garage
6:20 Leave Springfield College
6:50 While driving down 91, we are passed by a Saturn. There is a large mass in the back seat, Tara and Amanda think it is a penis, I thought it was a nose. It turned out to be punching bag in the shape of a human. We were way off.
7:20 Amanda is dominating the license plate game. While reminising about the game:
Nick: You got Quebec, that was a big point-getter
Amanda: Yea, I did…..that’s like…..out of this state
8:35 Stop off at Planet Wings, because really, what’s a trip to Rockland without Planet Wings
8:45 I try to blow my straw wrapper at Amanda but she informs me that I “can’t blow the big ones”
9:18 Pay a visit to the Mecca to Modern Consumerism that towers over the Land of Rocks
9:40 The entire way down, Amanda and I have been alternating adding fun facts to the trip. After leaving the mall, Tara attempts to join the club and this conversation takes place:
Tara: Do you know why they put limes in Corona?
Nick: Wait, I don’t think I know why
Tara: To keep the flies away
Amanda: Ok I lied, I didn’t know
9:43 Amanda: “You know who I could imagine at the top of this hill? The bakery guy from Cheney.”
10:21 Amanda locks herself in the bathroom
11:00 We finally learn the truth about poop
12:15 Bedtime. Alarm set for 9:05
12:40 Polar T. Bear and his cousin Eugene the Panda
8:30 Tara gets up to use the facilities. Since I have been up for a few minutes already, I take the liberty to say: “Thanks for waking us up Tara.” Not the nicest of things to say, but funny
8:45 I get up
Amanda: It’s not 9:05 yet
Nick: Yea, I know. That’s why I didn’t wake you up.
9:50 Breakfast, Casanova Style
12:00 Car parked on 59th street
12:15 Tara catches a guy trying to read her shirt from a far. As we approach he interacts with us:
Stoner: HEY! Whoa Springfield! Hey where is the great lawn.
Nick: That way. [points in the direction we are walking]
Stoner: Some lady sent me to the Sheeps Meadow, it wasn’t that great.
Nick: It’s no great lawn.
Stoner: Springfield. Is that like the Simpsons?
Nick: No, they live in Kentucky. Where are you from?
Stoner: Dai Ucken Stein Frauglabin
Stoner: No, around 90th street.
Nick: Ok……we are going to walk that way….bye
12:30 It’s official, we should have brought a fourth person in charge of taking pictures of the three of us
12:40 Tara pets the grass
12:52 We walk through a Parkinson’s Disease prevention fair. While taking the lead, Tara sees some dude check me out (gross), he then proceeds to get his friends attention and they both take the liberty to check me out (double gross). Tara doubles over in laughter, Amanda blames the sunglasses.
1:50 Stop at the Battery. Tara steps in the puddle and the street vendors scramble to find a pair of pants to sell her.
2:31 While walking down Wall Street, we stumble upon a set for a commercial. It is a commercial for Bacardi that features two guys in salmon suits “swimming” up stream through a “river” of marathoners. Tomorrow they are closing down the Verrazano Bridge to do more filming. We get yelled at trying to sneak out way onto television.
3:30 There is a line of about 10 people for this pizzeria bathroom.
4:15 While walking across the Brooklyn Bridge with the ALS (a.k.a. Lou Gehrig’s Disease) charity walkers, we encounter a good number of bikers who give New Yorkers a bad name.
4:20 Tara: “I don’t want this day to end.”
4:45 Tara is deathly afraid of bikers now that she has almost been killed by a bakers dozen.
5:20 Herald Square:
Tara: I want to be on a bulletin board in New York
Tara: Yea, one of those too.
5:40 I nearly break my already nearly-broken-ankle try to avoid stepping in poop. I didn’t avoid it good enough.
6:00 Orange-a-Peel is not the best Jamba flavor
6:24 Amazing Amanda shows emotion, eats food, and comes with two bumps on her noggin. The funny part is that I’m not even making an allusion to the real Amanda. This is a $100 doll at Toys R’ Us
6:45 Tara and Amanda chicken out of taking a picture with the Abercrombie model.
7:30 Tara races a speed walker across the street and wins. He took his eyes off the prize and never crossed the finish line.
8:00 Get car out of garage.
Tara’s NYC review:
“New York was truly amazing. “
NYC = 9
Boston = 7
Why did NYC only get a 9? Tara says: “There is not enough grass.”
8:57 Call up Z100 to request new Shakira song.
9:00 Z100 plays Shakira song. You gotta be kidding me, when has that ever happened to anyone. Everything is coming up Milhouse.
9:10 Amanda loses her mind during the Ookcha Ookcha Ookcha song.
9:44 “McDonalds is dead to me” -Nick. Seriously I am never going there ever again. The food is miserable and they never get your order right. If I ever get their food ever again, who ever is with me wins free dinner.
10:20 Stop off at the Hill house for some ice cream.
11:15 Reoccuring joke from the day:
“Today three Springfield College students [fill in the gap with any silly catastrosphe]…”
Were arrested for stealing a broken road sign
Caused a multicar pile up on the Brooklyn Bridge after kicking a small piece of a plastic pedal over the edge
Were immediately killed while dancing to Cascade
Became history with the slamming of the door
11:16 Nick: “It’s a shame my singing skills are on par with a dead ox.”
12:00 Pull into Inty’s lot. No one wants to get out of the car.