Title Track (5.25.06)

In case anyone cares, Pat Brady is the new Selectman in whatever district he was running in

Last night I went to the Mets game, front row I may add. I was literally using the dugout as a table….nuts. Anyway I went with one of the former interns and he greatly enjoyed heckling all the Phillies who were only a few feet away.
“I drive a Chevy Victorino”
“Bell you’re not even good in the video game”
“Burrell, I just plain loathe you”
“Go get ’em Ryan [Howard], you’re great (aside) what? That dude [fricking] scares me”

I was actually disappointed that the Cleveland Lebrons lost to the Pistons. I actually planned my Sunday around a NBA basketball game. I haven’t done that since I was 12.

Best wishes go out to Barbaro. And as if his injury wasn’t enough, Bernardini isn’t even going to race at Belmont. This is the third time in 36 years that the Belmont doesn’t have a Derby or Preakness winner in the field. Looks like NBC chose a good year to get out of the Belmont.

Keeping the horse racing theme going. Is it too much to ask for a Triple Crown winner before I have kids? Three years in a row the cruel directors of fate played with my fragile emotions. Then last year Giacomo ruined Alex’s fate and this year I don’t even want to talk about anymore.

The Nike-iPod connection is ridiculous. If I was a marathoner I would be stoked. But I’m not.

Rumors are circulating that Jeb Bush has been in talk to possibly become the next commissioner of the NFL. WHAT!? I don’t even know what to say to that. Jeb Bush?! I’m sure he will do as good of job with the NFL as his brother did with the country.

Now that the only movie I really wanted to see, Davinci, has come, gone and disappointed. I decided not to look forward to movies anymore, that way I can’t be disappointed.

I had a sandwich from the World’s Famous Carnegie Deli today, on NBC of course (I’m not paying a quarter of a million dollars for a sandwich), was not impressed. It smelled like cat food and probably tasted similar too.

I heart free Frostys. I wonder if one day Wendy’s will wise up and have new Frosty flavors. The day that happens I will vow my allegiance to that red-headed queen and never stray from her delicious food.

Top three favorite baseball players: Pujols, Wright, Reyes.
And as much as I hate the Red Sox, I think Manny may be in the top five, he is pretty cool.

You know what the best part about working at NBC for the summer…ok maybe it’s not the best, but it is up there. Since there are TV’s everywhere, I don’t have to miss the World Cup games!

“Last night three Springfield College kids, in three different states no less, died simultaneously while dangerously swerving in traffic to find new license plates.” It hasn’t happened yet, but it could.

“He will be able to give insightful comments better than most guys who cover and do boxing. I really have confidence in him” – Boxing promoter Bob Arum, on signing Mike Tyson to be a boxing commentator.
This is what boxing has come to? The sad thing is that with the current state of boxing, this might actually work.

Kenneth Lay: Up to 120 years
Jeffrey Skilling: Up to 185 years
That sucks

You purposely made me Sars that time. That’s not cool. –Sars

I wish I could go back to the Ice Age when all the continents were still together. That would be cool.

Five-Letter word for “One not serious”: T _ _ E _

U F B M O R U E D O W F M D E V C O E T F K Y Z U N K W H W.

B B U L Z T E E P R N I.

You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure. But don’t worry: you will someday

Housekeeping

I have been away from the blog for sometime now but that was in because the Preakness was coming up and I figured that would be worth the wait. Things happened and it was a good time, but it could have been better. Read about it below.

In other news the License Plate contest is shaping up quite nicely:
1) Nick: 36
2) Amanda: 29
3) Tara: 27
However, Tara does have Alaska AND Hawaii, thats gotta count for something with the bookies.

Work starts tomorrow so my 10:00 bedtime kicks in tonight. Sweet deal.
I won’t be able to chat on AIM much, but send me emails at my google account so we can chat all day.

Preakness 2006 Running Diary

The Preakness has been one of the greatest Piccinich traditions for the last three years. As a side note I would just like to point out that there may not be anything else that we do which could pass as a tradition. But anyway, this year was shaping up to be a tremendous outing.

*Disclaimer*
This year most of the meat and potatoes of this running diary is build up to the actual event. You have been warned

May 4
3:00 While working on the model we needed to build for our facilities class, I receive a call from Ostrowe. We both know that we want to go to the Preakness this year, but since Dmo now lives in New York, we no longer have a place to stay. Dmo can’t join us this year because he will be going to Ireland that day. However, Mar still plans on going. It has recently come to our attention that Nicole Sikora has moved down to Baltimore to work and train at a country club. We decide that we can stay with her. Another kink is that fact that Ostrowe has to be back in NY the same night as the Preakness because if he misses his sister’s graduation, his mother will disown him. Wow, it almost seems like we have a plan.

Rick: “Now lets never talk of this plan again or else it will never come to pass”
Ostrowe: “Agreed”

May 10
Apparently Nicole lives in some guys house and sleeps on a cot, or at least that was the rumor that was passed down to me. It seems like we are out of luck already.

May 13
There is a possibility that we can stay with three different sets of people who Doug and Ostrowe know in Maryland. Things don’t look too bad

May 17
As of today; we officially still don’t have a place to stay. Every place has fallen through and I am preparing to spend a night in my car in a shady parking lot.
12:00 I leave Rockland to go visit Lib. We watch the European Club Soccer Championship and When a Stranger Calls, a crappy movie about a babysitter who becomes the target of a serial killer.
7:00 Arrive at Amanda’s house in hopes of surprising her
7:01 Amanda is out babysitting, I get a little scared inside. Stupid crappy scary movie
9:30 After a nice talk with Amanda’s mom, and watching a movie that will not be named with her sister, Amanda comes home.
10:05 Leave Amanda’s house because she has to work at 7:00 AM tomorrow
11:05 Arrive at Sara’s house. It seems like everyone is asleep and Sara won’t pick up her phone.
11:08 Amanda calls and tells me that she doesn’t have to work tomorrow. F, stupid Piccinich Effect
11:11 I crawl into the backseat and prepare for a night sleeping in the car. This will be good practice for the weekend. I now vow to never surprise anyone with a visit who lives more than 3o minutes away from me. This is hazardous to my health.
11:17 Headlights appear outside and Sara and Moe pull up in Moe’s car. Hold up, is something actually working out for a change. Weird

May 18
12:15 Much needed sleep
8:15 Wake up, TV
10:00 Make breakfast
4:30 Sara has to go to work and the gym, so I am on my own for a while. I can use this time to get a haircut and find a gift for Sara’s parents.
6:00 Ostrowe calls. He is sick with the bird flu and will be unable to make it down to Baltimore. I knew our plan was too good to be true.
6:45 Call Mar. He still wants to go down since he knows people from Villanova who will be in attendance. Since I am not one to turn down a chance to go to the Preakness, I decided to head down as well, sadly sans Ostrowe.
10:15 After dinner with Dr. H, Sara and I head out downtown with her friend Chris from high school. I didn’t get to know him to well since I have zero social skills, but he was a cool kid.
11:00 We go to a bar called the Student Prince. It has a very laid back attitude. It has a Fitzy, but classier, vibe.
11:15 The vibe is confirmed when we meet one of the regulars. We are told that he is literally there everyday. This previous statement doesn’t even phase me anymore. That basically speaks of half of the clientele at Fitzy’s. Anyway, the guy look like Francis, but only if Francis took a shower and shaved everyday. His name is Jerry and he may have though it was Miami Vice night because he was wearing a white suit with a teal green dress shirt underneath. To top it off he sounded like the raspy-voiced football player in The Waterboy. All in all he was a pretty cool guy.

May 19
(Davinci Code Opening Day!)
12:00 We made our way over to Fat Cats next. This place was 97% college kids, 3% creepy old guys.
12:08 While standing near the bar:

Creepy guy: I love this place, it has a great view
Rick: Pretending I don’t speak english

1:02 This guy walks by me with not just a popped collar, but with two popped collars. Yes, no joke. He was wearing a collared shirt over a collared shirt, both with popped collars. Is it just me or should this offense be punishable by death? Tell me that I am not alone here.
1:45 After a rousing three-game pool series, I beat Sara, last call is up and we head home.
4:15 We finally get to bed after a few hours of talking. This is going to have some serious repercussions that I will hopefully live to regret.
7:12 I receive a text message from Mar saying that we can stay with Nicole. HUGE!
9:00 Why the hell am I awake now. This is shaping up to be very bad.
11:45 Davinci Code first showing in Massachusetts. Word to all the people who are protesting the movie. It’s Friking Fiction. Dan Brown made it up. Sure it talks about a different story which is rooted in conspiracy, but still anyone who takes the book as literal truth is dumb.
3:00 After two hardware malfunctions, finally start the Davinci Quest final puzzle. I was one of the 10,000 finalists and for my efforts received a replica cryptex from the movie.
4:00 Say goodbye to Sara, she is going to be working in Greece until the end of August. Lucky her, tear. Finally on my way to pick up Mar.
7:00 Pick up dinner at Dee Maria’s. I tell Mar I will pick him up in 20 minutes
7:45 Pick up Mar, so what I was just a little off
8:00 Over/Under on Personalized License Plates: 12 (under wins)
9:04 Background: One year when Mar and I were driving down south, we saw a butt-load of personalized plates. Somehow we deduced that all these people also used the same thing as their AIM name. So upon reaching Maryland or wherever we were, we tried to IM all the plates we saw. Sadly to no avail. Anyway, upon not seeing a lot plates tonight:

Mar: People with personalized plates are online chatting up a storm right now.

10:00 “IM BOAR” what a bad plate.
11:10 Arrive at Nicole’s golf course. She shot a 65 today so she was at the bar with the rest of the country club employees and members.
11:20 Mar and I agree, this is a very strange atmosphere to be in. We have both worked at golf courses and know what golfers are like, but there is something different about this bar, maybe it’s the southern hospitality mixed in but I can’t put my finger on it. Most conversations started like this:

Nicole: These are my friends from home
Golfer ____: Hey guys, I’m so and so, do you need a place to stay?

May 20 (Preakness Day)
12:02 I can no longer stand up, and this cigarette smoke is making me sick, so I retire to the car. Good thing I brought a pillow.
12:30 Mar and Nicole wake me from my slumber.
12:32 Upon entering the car and repeated every 5 minutes or so:

Nicole: I’m hammered

12:33

Nicole: I only live 40 minutes from here
Rick: You’re fucking kidding me right? I’m dying
Nicole: Doogie said we can stay with him, he lives three minutes away
Rick & Mar: Yea lets do that

12:40

Nicole: Nine Birdies today
Mar: If you played for Paul Toscano he would have given you a box of balls for that performance
Rick: I heard Chris Moro pointed at Paul Toscano once and got a sleeve of golf balls

1:05 I pass out in Doogie’s arm chair. And I have to admit it was almost more comfortable than my bed at home. But that just could be due to the state that I am in.
7:24 I am woken up and Doogie asks me for my keys so he can move my car. As he walks out the door:

Rick: Did Doogie Howser just steal my car?

8:00 I wake up to hear Nicole say that she wasn’t that drunk last night. I direct everyone’s attention to the entry at 12:32.
8:13 Every segment on the local news revolves around the Preakness. For example, when talking about the stock market, the broadcaster segues to Barbaro’s stock going through the roof. A bad omen for things to come.
8:35 Leave Doogie’s in search of the Preakness
9:10 Park in the same lot/backyard that has been so good to us for the last four years.
9:20 We are turned away because we have metal folding chairs, not metal umbrella chairs. I’m still trying to figure out the difference, I seem to remember some guy using the metal umbrella chairs as a bat during the fight of the century last year. Folding chairs would be slowed down due to wind resistance.
9:26 Mar is too winded to think about resting. Don’t worry it doesn’t make sense to me either.
9:41 Inflation is a bitch, tickets are $55 this year.
9:42 The cattle drive that is trying to get 80,000 drunk college aged kids into the infield begins.

9:48 There are three event staff workers trying to stop a few thousand people from jumping the dividing fence while funneling people into the security checkpoints. Great job Pimlico.
9:57 Infield breeched.
10:05 We meet Mar’s lady friend. Once again due to my lack of social skills, the hellos will be our only interaction.
10:18 Mar claims he will be drunk by 12:00 since he is already 3 beers deep.
10:23 It is agreed upon that people over the age of 30 should not be allowed into the infield.
10:32 First race finishes
10:33 Mar says he wants to bet on the first race
10:36 We become friends with Faux Rutko. He has the same shaved head, tattoos and crazy look in his eye.
10:45 Kyle Boller is introduced to a sea of boos. Several Jets’ chants break out.
12:55 Faux Rutko returns to his blanket with a chicken tender/fry/heroin basket.
1:00 Unspoken/Should be Rules of the Preakness:

Popped collars are illegal.
Don’t walk on other people’s blankets.

1:15 The usual beach ball makes its rounds in the infield, I hit it into a crowd, and then next guy punches it into the face of his friend. The kid drops. Hilarious.
1:25 Mar funnels for the first time, then again four minutes later.
1:49

Rick: That guy is wearing a Villanova jersey.
Mar: We should kick him in the throat, he is an imposter.

2:21 For the first time this year, some drunk thinks that he can sit on his Styrofoam cooler. He sits, it breaks into a million pieces. Side note: His friends all laughed at him for a good five minutes, then a few hours later one of the laughers did the same exact thing, idiots.
3:00 Neither of us have placed a bet yet.
3:30 At the Preakness, funnels are pretty much passed around at random, it’s kind of gross, but common place. A different funnel has now made its way to our campsite. This girl funnels a beer and as she finishes time slows down. Mar and I are standing like ten feet away and see her start to drool and shit starts coming our her nose. She passes out standing up and her face lands in a pile of discarded and crushed cans. She comes to with her face bleeding everywhere. The guy who was holding the funnel drops it and walks away like the classy guy he is.
3:32 Mar walks over and picks up the discarded funnel and proceeds to funnel 3 beers in a row.
4:20 Huge fight breaks out…again. It’s early this year.
6:20 The main race is in 10 minutes and we still haven’t bet on anything all day.
6:30 We head out during the post parade since we figure listening to the race on the radio will be better than standing in the infield and seeing the race for 5 seconds. And we don’t have any winning tickets to cash. Plus we can beat the traffic.
6:34 Barbaro breaks down, the horse racing world watches in horror.
7:34 Stop at the Maryland House for some food. This Roy Rogers meal is the first thing I have eaten in 24 hours beside a pretzel and half a hotdog which I had for breakfast. Mar clung tightly to the liquid diet finishing 20 beers over the course of the day. He was a little disappointed in himself.
9:45 Make it home somehow without succumbing to lack of food and sleep.

In conclusion, this may not have been one of the best horse races I have been to, but it was still a horse race. Ostrowe and I have already vowed to make it to all three races next year so look forward to those three running diaries. Come to think of it that sounds like last year when Ostrowe and I vowed to go to all three horse races this year….

United 93

While I sit here trying to figure out how to respectfully write this post, I couldn’t help but feel the same as I did when I walked out of the theater only a few minutes ago. As the house lights started to come back some guy in the back tried to get a slow clap applause going, but the 30 person audience consisting of 90% elderly couples, Rachel and yours truly would have none of it. As I walked down the aisle I tried to catch glimpses of other peoples faces to see what they thought of the film, but like myself, everyone was mostly stone faced.

The hard part about this, is that I feel like it is sacrilegious to say anything bad about this picture. I’m not saying it was a bad movie, but on the other hand, it certainly wasn’t a tremendous picture either. I am glad I went to see it though.

For those of you who don’t know, United 93 is in essence a real-time account of what happened on that fateful day. It is a constant reminder of those events that caused misery for so many people. Throughout the movie you are brought face to face with harrowing images which remind you of the magnitude of the event.

Imagine you are on a roller coaster. You get around the corner from the station and start the long uphill climb. You know what is going to happen once you get to the top, the only problem being that it takes an hour and 45 minutes to get to the top. Oh yea, I forgot to mention, there is this box in front of you with the red light on it. Every now and again the red light starts blinking and on the 15th blink an automated arm with a boxing glove pops out and punches you in the stomach. The coaster hits the top and next thing you know your pulling back into the station.

Every single person in that theatre knows exactly what is going to happen in the movie. But still I had this feeling in my gut that the plane would be stuck on the runway for another 30 minutes before takeoff and then later, at the end, I thought the plane would be righted by the passengers and fly away from a near certain doom.

In the movie there were a lot of people who played themselves, including the director of the FAA. This added a dimension to the film, which was good and bad. While watching the movie there was a feeling that these were all everyday people, which made you more sympathetic to their situation. It was pretty easy to ignore the bad acting and the consistent stuttering.

You know, I went to see this movie because I felt it was important to tell the story of that day. It is pointless to not talk about it, these stories need to be told. Bad things are always going to happen, it is important to learn from them. I remember when I first heard about the planes hitting the towers. I joked about it and laughed it off. I even said: “At least now we will have something to put in our senior video.” It wasn’t until I was pulled out of class and saw my mom running up and down the hallway frantically that I realized what was actually transpiring. And you know what, the movie showed that most adults felt the same way. Not until the images were shown on CNN did people start to understand the magnitude of what was transpiring.

People say its awful that some people are making money off of 9-11. But guess what, this is America, unless the only place you go for news is your family pow-wow in front of the fire, someone is making money off of everything. The internet, driven by profit. History Channel, they want to make a profit too. Even “free” websites like my crappy geocities site. Yahoo is still making money off of it. Why do you think the ads pop up on the right hand side.

It may not have been the most action-packed, thrill-ride of a movie, but the story deserved to be told. This movie showed the heroics of a few; and the ineptitude of many.

Title Track (5.11.06)

Now being offered in Aisle 7, Summer

Vote Pat Brady. He’ll fight for you. His cheesy moustache is the cheesiest this side of the Massasoit.
Freak Flag: n. An indicator of freakishness.
Nick has multiple freak flags. One for his unhealthy obsession with Degrassi and another for his obsession with Walter and his Family.

O: Bah, if CM Point didn’t exist you wouldn’t even be able to make him up, he’s that unbelievable

I am retard, hear me aaaargh… or watch me drool- whichever u prefer

I approve of this blog

David Blaine is not a magician. Anyone who says different is just an idiot.

Improve your vocabulary by reading this blog:
Pablum: n Something (in speach or writing) that is trite, insipid, or simplistic

N: It has red eyes, that’s how you know it’s evil
S: Maybe it’s just misunderstood

I have always said that one day Sony Vaios would be some pretty nasty computers and that sometime in the near future I would consider buying one. I am still waiting for that day to come.

Who would put out just wires without a sign!?

N: AAAAAH!!
S: WHAT?!
N: I bet you can guess…
S: Oh, it sounded happy at first, I wasn’t sure

The social acceptance of Wikipedia was solidified the other day when Steven Colbert made a reference to it on his show.

(After a car drives by and the passenger says “Hey little boys”)
S: I think it’s safe to say that you have officially been hit on by more boys today than girls
N: I think you can extend that back to the last two weeks
S: Eww

If you ever get a chance, watch any of the Star Wars DVDs with the commentary. Not only do you learn a lot of inside of information about the movies, you see just how big of a geek you are not. And on top of that it is quite enjoyable.

I wonder which will be a better trivia question in five years:
“Who won the
Stanley Cup title in 2005”
“Who won the
Stanley Cup title in 2006”

S: I had the WEIRDEST dream last night
N: I dreamt about notpron (www.notpron.com)
S: Ugh

Do you think I have enough readers to hold a Sports Guy-esque mail bag column? It’s an easy way to add an entry without having to think to hard about anything. Not that any of my entries require an exhaustive amount of thinking.

Only nine more days till the Preakness. The plan is…..Top Secret. I’d tell you but then it is guaranteed to be a disaster. So until then just sit back and wait for a running diary that could rival last years Preakend.

As of right now, Sara is the odds on favorite to win the summer license plate contest; mostly because she is the only one to submit a guess.

Seriously, what can happen in the Simpsons’ Movie that hasn’t already happened in the TV show? This has bad news written all over it.

Stand still, Godfrey, it’ll all be over in a minute.

License Plate Contest

Summer has officially begun. Finals are over and this summer, at least on paper, seems like it could be a fantastic one. Granted some people will be abscent from the country, but I won’t mention names, so Sara don’t worry. Anyway, my new obsession (that doesn’t have to do with a family of geese) is the license plate game. I’d open this contest to everyone, but Amanda is way too good at it. It would be no contest.

So here are the contest rules:
The contest runs from now until August 20
Canadian plates are excluded.
Anyone can place a bet. Just send it as a comment on the bottom.
The goal is to guess the correct number of states I will see.
Don’t forget to include a date I will find the last plate.
Open to all continental residents, including Alaska and Hawaii.
Once the Puerto Rican government gets some money, they can join too.

Prizes:
The winner will recieve their choice of:
– A lotto ticket
– A beer at Fitzy’s
– An unlimited amount of dates with Tad Hamilton (In this contest the role of Tad Hamilton will be played by Nicholas Casanova)

Well, a challenge has been issued. This is now a triple threat match between myself, Amanda, and Tara. My map is in green, Amanda is in blue and Tara is in purple. Check back regularly to see how much progress we have made. (The list at the end is solely Nick’s)

Nick (47)
Amanda (47)
Tara (45)

Alabama – May 19

Alaska – June 26
Arizona – May 20
Arkansas – May 19
California – May 8
Colorado – May 8
Connecticut – May 8
Delaware – May 8
Florida – May 9
Georgia – May 10
Hawaii
Idaho – June 7
Illinois – May 10
Indiana – May 10
Iowa – May 16
Kansas – June 30
Kentucky – May 10
Louisiana – June 6
Maine – May 8
Maryland – May 9
Massachusetts – May 8
Michigan – May 10
Minnesota – May 8
Mississippi – May 28
Missouri – May 9
Montana – May 12
Nebraska – June 30
Nevada – June 7
New Hampshire – May 8
New Jersey – May 8
New Mexico – June 30
New York – May 8
North Carolina – May 9
North Dakota
Ohio – May 13
Oklahoma – May 13
Oregon – May 20
Pennsylvania – May 10
Rhode Island – May 8
South Carolina – May 13
South Dakota – July 4
Tennessee – May 10
Texas – May 14
Utah – May 27
Vermont – May 8
Virginia – May 9
Washington – May 23
West Virginia – May 20
Wisconsin – May 10
Wyoming

The Secret Life of Walter T. Goose

Well, it is official. I have gone insane. So without further ado.

~~[]~~

In the Summer of 2002, Rudolph and Wiletta Goose gave birth to their first litter of goslings. There were three in total: Jane, Ashley and Walter. The family lived happily in their small town of Emo, Ontario, Canada. The three children were all good kids, each with their own distinctive personality. Ashley clung to her parents and loved to show them she didn’t need their help. She would always be a good little gosling. And she always wanted more. Jane hung around the middle of the pack and whined about everything. Then there was Walter. He was a good little gosling. However, he was easily distracted. His mother had to keep a constant eye on him.

The family lived in Emo for sometime and the kids grew up to be beautiful geese. Unfortunately by the summer of 2003, Emo was no longer a good place to raise young geese. So Rudoplh and Wiletta decided to fly the family to upstate New York. Rudolph also invited his brother Taylor and his son Derek. Rudy had heard that Derek was having a rough go at life (he fell in with a lot of bad crowds) so Rudy felt that if Derek spent time with his well-mannered children then he could turn his life around. After flying for several hundred miles, the family settled down near Cooperstown.

After a year of living in Cooperstown, Jane, Ashley and Walter were ready to start their own lives. They were now mature, two years old and seeking mates who they could spend the rest of their lives with. It wasn’t long after that Jane married Hugo and moved to Vernon, NY and Ashley married Albert and moved to Albany, NY. This left Walter living at home still with Willetta, Rudy, Taylor and Derek. Derek was never nice Walter. He would pick on him, make fun of his abnormally long neck and ruffle his tail feathers. Worst of all, Derek tried to make Walter join all of the bad crowds that he was in.

After a year of this torture, Walter couldn’t take it anymore. He had been in Cooperstown for two years now and wasn’t have any luck with the lady geese. It’s not that he was ugly, he just had very poor social skills. Whenever he tried to talk to a good looking girl, he would get all bashful. So one day he told his parents and uncle that he needed to leave town. They said their sad goodbyes and Walter took off.

He wasn’t quite sure where he was going, and although it pained him to leave his parents, he knew he needed to get as far away from Derek as he possibly could. He had heard that Florida had some good looking lady geese so he decided that’s where he would go. However, one morning something unexpected happened.

He was over New Jersey when he saw the most beautiful goose he had ever seen. She was walking towards him down what looked like a runway for beauty queens. He was instantly lost in her eyes. As he cruised towards her in a stupor, a million different things he could say to her ran through his mind. Then, all of a sudden, he was awoken from his trance by the sight of her running towards him. He became excited and started flying towards her as fast as he could. He was flapping his little wings as fast as he could. She was gaining speed and was now running faster than Walter. As he got closer, he noticed that she was way bigger than he was, but it didn’t matter because she was beautiful. Walter was within 100 yards of her, when she left the ground and all of a sudden, with a giant jet-propelled roar, she blew by him.

Walter didn’t know what him. The girl of his dreams was so close. When he regained his bearings, he turned and she was only a speck in the sky, but he tried to follow her anyway. He changed course and followed the distinct scent she left behind.

It seemed like Walter had been flying forever. His wings became tired and he knew he had to land. He saw a nice, scenic lake in a suburban area and it reminded him of the pond he grew up at in Emo. He landed and found a nice nook near the lakes edge to nest for the night.

When he woke up in the morning, he knew his love was gone. He vowed to never forget her and search the sky every night hoping to see her again. Eventually, he got up and went looking for food. While walking along he noticed something funny. There were triangles everywhere. After a while he didn’t mind though because everywhere he went he found people who would give him some bread and other assorted treats. He decided that this is where he would stay.

As the days went on, Walter found solace, behind the tallest building in the area. One day in early November he was walking near the dock when he looked up at the building and saw something white flying overhead. The object was on a direct line to hit the water, but it hit an imaginary wall of some sort. After showcasing a spectacular dance, it landed at the base of a tree just inches away from the waters edge. He walked over to check it out, and as he got closer a tear came to his eye. It looked just like his girl that got away.

Over the course of the year he would find more of these mementos. All of which he would bring back to his nest. They reminded him that if something like this could hurt so much, it had to be pretty great to begin with.

Another winter came and went, and Walter still did not have a girlfriend. But, he wasn’t worried. He was content living the life of a bachelor and he was having a lot of fun. Sadly around May the white reminders stopped falling. Then everything changed on that fateful July day.

That morning, Walter has just woken up, and he was busy with his morning routine when he heard a loud splash in the lake. He got up and waddled around the corner to see two goose feet sticking straight up out of the water. He dove in to help the other goose out. However, he wasn’t prepared for who he helped to take his breath away. He bobbed there for a second, speechless, and opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. She broke the silence by introducing herself as Susan. She told him that she was flying over head and she hit a nasty air pocket and was thrusted to the ground. Walter finally snapped out of it and managed to ask Susan if she would care to come over for some breakfast.

After that day, Susan and Walter became inseparable. They spent all their time together. They went to the bridge, sat on the quad watching the squirrels do their dances, and listened to the music of life together. On October 13 they were married by Reverend Slick T. Mallard.

Susan and Walter made each other so happy. They were like peas and carrots. Then in February of 2006. Susan broke the great news to Walter. He was going to be a daddy. Upon hearing this, Walter jumped for joy. He flew laps around the lake and bought all the squirrels drinks. He was overcome with rapture. 29-31 days later the eggs hatched and Susan and Walter became the proud parents of six goslings.

Bobby and Johnny were the oldest. They both exited their shells at the same time, and as is custom in the world of geese, they were considered twins. They were both athletic and witty.

Susan Jr. came next. She was a spitting image of her mother. She was also a mathematical genius.

Then came Norbert. He was a feisty little gosling. He always wanted to be the first to get everything.

Mary was next. She was always winded and constantly needed to rest.

Lastly, Steve joined the world. He was the absent-minded gosling, much like his old man.

Susan hangs around the kids, and Walter hangs back

One day in May while Walter, Susan, and the kids were going for a walk, the unthinkable happened. Walter turned around and saw his evil cousin Derek, sitting, watching. Every now and again Derek would try to get close to the kids, and Walter would have to chase him away. Derek was trying to do what he does best, lure small, absent-minded Steve to the dark side of goose-dom. Walter would have none of it. He hired Gus Gus the duck to protect his family while he slept.

Notice Derek lurking the background: watching, waiting

One day Derek got to close to the nest and Walter was furious. He told Derek that he never wanted to see him again. Derek responded by telling him that if he beat Derek in a race around the lake, he would leave forever. That afternoon, all the animals in the area, crowded around banks of the lake to watch.

The two geese were situated at the starting line and as the gun was about to go off Derek bit Walter’s wing. He let out a wail as the gun sounded and Derek got a big head start. Walter recovered and took off after him. Walter flew as fast as he could. The life of his children depended on it. Twenty-two minutes later the two geese raced down the homestretch and crossed the finish line almost simultaneously. It was Walter’s “abnormally” long neck that made the difference. He had won the race and Derek had to go back to wherever it was that he came from.

All of the neighborhood animals rejoiced and Walter, Susan and all the kids went home knowing their life was going to be a-o-k. They all lived happily ever after.

THE END.

Title Track (5.2.06)

The NFL Draft didn’t really do it for me this year. Maybe because the Redskins had no first round picks. Maybe because I just got so sick of hearing about it. And maybe the thing that pisses me off is that in Madden 07 Cyber Reggie will be on the Saints. WTF? I was looking forward to him being on the Texans and dominating the league (including Peyton Manning) with Bush, Carr, and Johnson.

Jon: I hate that kid.
Nick: Which one? There are three of them there.
Jon: Yea, I know. I hate that kid.

I’m not really sure how to describe them, but if you get a chance ask Pedro about vagesticles

She makes a man want to speak Spanish

I’m not really sure to make of the next eight months of my life. Summer is coming up. I’ll be at NBC starting in June. Then I have one semester left of school. I’m so far off the beaten path. But then again society says……

maybe I’m not into Dane Cook because I listen to bands you’ve never heard of

The Derby is on Saturday. Totally stoked.

I’ve decided that I am going to see United 93. I know I said people weren’t ready for it, however, one story changed my mind. In the movie, the head of the FAA who grounds all the planes is played by the actual head of the FAA who grounded all the planes on 9/11. According to him the movie stays true to the actual events of the day. Stay tuned for my thoughts on the movie.

I thought this year was tough, next year no one is in the same building….and Pedro will be in Chile.

Congratulations to Maxx, Rachel, Lindsay, Melissa, Lib and the rest of the Class of 06

T: I don’t really like the whole finger thing

I’m writing in Nick’s blog…yay! Its ok Nick…we will have “dorm” dates every week next year no matter what (so no worries) ! IAC forever and ever 🙂

I don’t know how I feel about Bonds passing The Babe. 715 is quite the number, and until a court, or Bonds himself, says he is guilty of steroid abuse, I will remain blissfully ignorant. But I do know 13 years from now when Pujols is closing in on Aaron I will be stoked. Hope he doesn’t hit any speed bumps along the way.

Random Emo Lyric: “You’re everything I want because you’re everything I’m not

Bonus Random Emo Lyric: “I’m drowning in a pool of fire and burning up in this pool of water

Happy Birthday to Amanda and Mar

Flashback to the NYC running diary: When Tara told me two guys just checked me out, I literally threw up in my brain…….(I’ve been trying to throw that line, courtesy of Jake Hulseberg, in a blog for the longest time and I have finally succeeded)

Oh yea, Its Cray-on not Cran, Cement not Sea-ment, and golf not whatever it is you say.

The triple crown field this year seems very thin. It’s Brother Derek’s to lose. I just hope I get to see a Triple Crown winner in my lifetime.

Good Night and Good Luck