Self Titled

While at dinner one day, one of Tara’s teammates asked her who her boyfriend was. Before Tara could even open her mouth, another teammate responded with: “He is that guy who always wears a hood and listens to his headphones.” The answer was sufficient enough to not warrent anymore questioning. Now should I get offended. I don’t think so. One, at least i was refered to as “that guy” and two, the fact that no more explaination was needed proves that I’m not as invisible as I believe.

That got me to thinking, what if I didn’t have the hood? There was only one way to find out. So I used today as a test. I left the creepy hood guy at home and DappeRick made a surprise guest appearence sans the headphones. But for the record, even DappeRick wears a hat at all times.

9:40 Leave my room and grab a newspaper. My timing was poor this morning and I was outside Alumni waiting for Tara to get out of her Magic Spells and Witchcraft class. Luckily the wind was behaving and I didn’t freeze. Apparently there is a wide variety of aviary wildlife in the Springfield College area. I never noticed before since I always had the iPod cranked.

9:50 We stop off at the post office to see if today is destined to be DvDegrassi Day. And as luck would have it, awaiting me in my box is Degrassi season 4. I instantly became way to giddy for my own good. I didn’t even want to go to any of my classes, but I was a trooper.

10:10 This girl in class tells me that she loves Degrassi. She gains a few points in my book bringing her back to the “not hated” area. Her in class comments usually piss me off.

10:50 We book it out of PR to beat cancer girl. I don’t want my nice shirt to get caught up in the wrong cloud. On the walk I realized that it is fun to hear parts of other peoples conversations, especially people walking the other way. Some snippets that perked my ears today:
“I couldn’t believe I did that either”
“That’s when I saw my dog bent….”
“On the bar last night infront of…”
“Jim$ tie collection is awe inspiring”
Ahhh, the normal Friday morning college campus conversations. You won’t believe it when I tell you, but last night I played a heated game of ping pong then watched Cheep Seats before going to bed. And it was fantastic!

11:45 I walk into Cheney for lunch and have a nice conversation with the card swiping lady. For the sake of this study, I will blame this on the DappeRick.

12:10 After plowing through a Cheney lunch, sans the apple juice, I give up on the study for the sake of watching Degrassi. After watching the one hour season premiere, I find myself almost sprinting to make it to my 1:00 class on time.

1:55 The end of DappeRick as I change into my gym clothes. However, I am able to squeeze in another two Degrassi episodes beforemy 3:00 class

All in all the study didn’t proved that I am going to wear my hood and headphones all the time. I wasn’t really missing anything. Plus life is much better with music anyway.

Post Script: The final count on license plates this summer, if anyone cares was 47. I was missing Wyoming, North Dakota and Hawaii. Making the winner Tara. I didn’t rig it, I swear.

Post Post Script: Before writing this post I took a gander out the window and to my surprise Walter, Susan and the Gang finally made their first appearence of the new school year! And the kids are all grown up. They are all so handsome. Jim Nantz and Tom Brady better watch out.

The Bears and the Bees

The other day Tara and I returned from our daily lunch break to find an interesting message scrawled on the door. Now most college students are bright enough to understand that this is simply a courtesy to try to avoid awkward roommate situations. So no big deal right? Well let me tell you the weird part. We just left Karen and Dan sitting in Cheney (possibly drinking the apple juice, it’s so good, who cares if it induces…..but I digress). Maybe it was possible that in the two minutes it took us to stop off at the post office to check on my Degrassi season 4 DVD (which at the time of publication still is not in my possession even though Amazon.com tells me that the package is somewhere in the city of Springfield, MA. But I swear I’m not bitter or impatient about the whole situation. But that’s neither here nor there. Focus Rick, Focus), that Karen and Dan sprinted back to the room, but it wasn’t likely. Nevertheless, Tara and I proceeded with caution hoping that there were some good actors behind these closed doors. We walked in to find basketball attire strewn about the floor. We immediatly eyed the culprits canoodleing on the futon. In our abscence Roy and Erica decided to take the next step. They didn’t seem to mind our intrusion because when we walked in they didn’t even bother to stop (Notice: In the lead up to the futon, the pants came off first, then the jersey, then the basketball. Erica was most self conscious about being seen without her basketball. That is what made us LOL the most. Ok, I’m done with tangents. But still that’s [explicit deleted] funny to me). Over the next 20 minutes before we left for class they experimented with a myriad of positions. At first it didn’t really bother us, since Roy is naked all the time, but at some point we finally realized that this was pretty weird, that didn’t stop us from laughing about it until we went to bed that night. We left and only God knows how much longer the checky shenanigans lasted, but when Karen got back she wouldn’t stand for any of it (Sorry I vowed to not go on anymore tangents so I have nothing to add within these brakets). She ripped the two love bears apart and forced Erica to put her clothes back on while bashing her with dirty hussey like remarks. So I guess now we know what happens when teddy bears have a picnic.

I guess you had to be there.

Title Track (10.22.06)

Tara’s pep talk at practice the other day:
“Guys, I’m winded. You’re winded. We are all winded. So lets just suck it up and finish this off”

I am going to go out on a limb and make a Namath-like prediction: The Redskins will not lose next week. Anyone who wants to take the bet just come and see me.

Which is closer to rock bottom. Sitting in the library on a Saturday afternoon watching the newest episode of Degrassi and trying not to crack up. Or sitting in the library on a Saturday afternoon doing homework.

If you have sex in Denver can you argue your way into the mile-high club?

Matt Bryant kicks 62 yard field goal to win game: That headline is pretty nuts

Triva time: Which World Series was the first to have every single game played at night? Answer at the end.

Even Art Shell looked surprised that the Raiders won a game. I bet he had money on the Cardinals. He can’t even throw a game right.

In Public Relations I got to talk about the Snakes on a Plane opening night. Odds are all the people in the class who never talked to me before (which is about 85%) definitely won’t be talking to me ever. The teacher just kinda stood there with his mouth hung open with a “what is wrong with you” look on his face.

Don’t even bother clicking on the Book of Merm link. He is a slacker and doesn’t update……ever.

If you had to think of one adjective that comes to mind when you stereotypically think of masculine sport, what would it be? Maybe you said tough, or intense. I went with ballsy. PS this doesn’t mean that girls sports can’t be any of these (except maybe ballsy). They are just stereotypes so stop getting on my case.

Summer secrets keep me breathing. My old routine stopped repeating. And I’ll never forget anything. That happened [that day]. -Option C.

Also, on a more serious note, can we please have a moment of silence for the late Mar? I have been notifed by St. Mary’s Hospital that Mar finally lost his courageous battle with exhaustion from banging the villanova cheerleading squad this weekend. Mar’s Tombstone:
Mar
1983-2006
Cause of death: Fatigue
“Bah, I’m winded”


The triva answer is 1985

Who is looking forward to game 6 of the World Series when Kenny Rogers gives up 347 runs in the first inning, a modern day record, to prove that he cheated all postseason. What do you think Steinbrenner is going to do about it?

I had a dream last night that I worked for Syracuse basketball. I have no clue what I was doing, but I was talking to Boeheim. But thats not going to help the team make the dance this year. Their senior class is terrible and Devendorf is going to fall apart without McNamara to keep him in check.

R: r u watchign texas v nebraska
O: no i was watching the behind the scenes video of darcy stripping. by the way i just found out darcy turns 17 on tuesday
R: bah wow ill see u in hell
O: i bet they have seats with our names on them
R: we might have our own suites in hell. like Jim$ has in vegas

Well, nobody’s perfect.

Vegas Baby Vegas

In the politically correct world we live in, there is still one place where anything goes. Vegas. Before the end of the year, Dmo, Mar, and Terry will be heading out to the City of Sin. Now, when we go out in Rockland, bad things tend to happen, it’s called the Piccinich Effect. But throw in the debauchery that happens in Vegas, and you get a story that I can’t wait to write about. So after dusting off my crystal ball, I took a look into the future to see just what will transpire.

5:34 Dmo gets into his limo and heads over to pick up Terry. He pulls into the driveway as Terry calls his phone. Terry says that he has something in the oven and that he is going to be a few more minutes. Over the course of the conversation, Dmo finds out that Terry got home from Bruxelle’s 30 minutes ago. When he finally comes outside, he has no signs of a hangover, but his Grizzley Addams Beard is in full force. It’s early this year.

6:00 Mar comes out of his house with only a backpack filled with clothes.
Dmo: Bah, Is that all you are bringing
Mar: Bah, I’m Winded
Dmo: Bah, We are going to be there for almost a week
Mar: Bah
Dmo: Bah

6:20 On the way to Westchester Airport, Terry moves Mar’s bag so that he can get a drink from the bar and he notices that his bag is ridiculously heavy. He opens the bag and sees that it is filled with $2000 watches. Maybe this explains why Mar is always so winded.

6:45 Everyone boards Dmo’$ private jet, fun fact, the Sultan of Brunei once got the pleasure of seeing the plane and decided that he too wanted one just like it.

7:45 Mar is winded. Terry is still drinking.

8:00 Local Vegas time. After watching the Blue Man Group perform on the plane, the group touches down @ McCarran International Airport. Of course Dmo has arranged for a limo to come pick them up. Originally the plan was to stay at the Bellagio. However, Mar found out that the Stratusphere Hotel has a hot tub filled with good looking girls, that he claims will take their tops off. They sound like prostitutes to me, but hey, this is Vegas.

8:45 The bellhop leads the gang up to their penthouse on the top floor of the hotel. As they walking into the room they walk past a plaque reading: “The James Dierkensen Suite.” Terry toasts the plaque.

9:52 After some pregame which was urged on by Terry, they decide to hit up Sonic. Since there are no Sonic’s in the northeast, but plenty of Sonic commercials in the northeast, Sonic is in high demand. And you know the best part, Sonic lives up to it’s hype. It may be 9:52 in the morning but in Vegas there is no such thing as time of day. Everything is fair game at all times. If you want to have Ice Cream for breakfast, go right ahead, no one will question you. Terry orders a vodka and Red Bull with his burger and Sonic comes through with one.

10:49 Everyone finally makes it to the casino. They decide to start off slow with a few hands of blackjack. Terry gets $300 in chips, Dmo cashes in $500, Mar throws down his watch and gets $2000 in chips.

11:15 The house always wins. Terry is down $100, Mar and Dmo are down $200. However, as this old couple sits down at the table, business starts to pick up. The dealer busts on 10 straight hands and now everyone is on the plus side of the dial. Terry stands up and walks away with his beer in hand. Dmo and Mar play a few more hands then head over to the craps table.

5:00 After six hours, Mar is up $600 and Dmo is up $850. The pit bosses have taken notice and offered the two of them dinner at the finest steakhouse the Stratusphere has to offer. They walk over and remember that no one has seen or heard from Terry in a while. They shrug it off and head into the restaurant. After a four-star meal, Mar whips out another watch and leaves it as a tip.

6:45 To cap off dinner, Mar convinces Dmo to go to a fund raiser being held a little ways down on the strip whose mission is to help girls pay their way through college. They walk in the door and see Terry sitting in the VIP area. He explains to them that he just got to talking to random people strewn about the casino and before he knew it he knew the owner of this establishment. Something only Terry could pull off.

7:00 It goes without saying, but in case you forgot, Mar is winded.

8:00
Mar wants to go check out the hot tub at the Stratusphere so he and Dmo head back up the strip. It is impossible to get Terry to leave. When walking up the street, Dmo get drunk dialed by Jim$. He tells him that he is having a late “supper” tonight with Abby and ShaBAHn

9:00 Upon arriving at the hot tub, Dmo and Mar are greeted with a sign that says: “Sorry for the inconvenience. All the girls that used to fill this hot tub went home with Jim$ after his last visit.” Dejected, Mar and Dmo decided to continue gambling.

1:00 On the east coast its 3:00 am and Mar and Dmo have been up for nearly 24 hours. They are up a combined $2000 on the day, not bad for day one. They decide to call it a night. Odds are that Terry is passed out in some gutter somewhere, but no one is worried, Terry has a knack for always getting home. The two of them make it back to the suite and quickly pass out in their respective beds.

3:00 Terry enters the suite with a loud crash finally showing the effects of the alcohol. He has gotten 3 hours of sleep in the last 48 hours and hasn’t stopped drinking. Most people would be dead, but this is the Boss we are talking about. In a drunken stupor he walks into Mar’s room and climbs on top of the dresser and gives Mar a Super Fly Snuka Splash.

This is how things will go for the entire trip. Who knows if they all come back alive, but one thing is for sure, this is going to be a trip for the ages.

Retro Post: Proverbs

Since Geocities is pretty much useless, I will finally start to transfer everything over to the blog. First up is The Rick vs. Proverbs. I wrote this post during the Summer of 2004. For those who have never seen it, have fun, and if you have read it before, take a stroll down Memory Lane.

You know all those “wise” things people say to try to cheer you up sometimes…They Suck. So I figured I should do something about it. CAUTION: I am retarded so this can get messy

Showing boring, played out cliche’s who’s boss since sometime last week

Don’t count your chickens before they hatch: Buy a dozen eggs, count em, there’s 12, now eat them

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush: Personally I’d rather have two hands in the bush b/c then you know that bush is a keeper. Plus a bird in the hand would definitely poop on you

A penny saved is a penny earned: A penny saved makes you a jew

Don’t cry over spilt milk: Yea unless it’s rare Cambodian Breast Milk, I only drink the finest milk

Don’t spit into the wind: Mar that goes for urine too I would assume

Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water: Yea don’t be ignorant, that’s poopie work

Half a loaf is better than no bread: Tell that to John Bobbit

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again: If at first you don’t succeed, give up it wasn’t worth it in the first place

One man’s meat is another man’s poison: Yea it is dumbass, I’m not gonna touch any other guy’s meat

One swallow doesn’t make a summer: Oh yes it does, it would make my summer, but I guess multiple swallows would be better

Practice makes Perfect: But nobody’s perfect so why practice

The best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach: Or his penis

The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice: I’m not touching that one

Loose lips sink ships: Yea and they also get pregnant and get diseases

Killing two birds with one stone: Do the two birds have to be flying? So you would have to throw a stone into the air and hit one bird on the way up and then as gravity takes over the stone hits another bird on the way down. That’s unlikely but I’d like to see it. However would it count if you caught two birds and tied them both to the stone and threw the stone in the ocean?

What’s good for the goose is good for the gander: Kirin Ichiban (I miss Walter)

Dead as a door nail: A door nail was never alive therefore you can’t be as dead as one

What ever can go wrong will go wrong: The first half of the Cincimino Effect

If the father is a frog, the son will be a frog: The son will be a prince you idiot, hasn’t mother goose taught you anything

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence: Just move the fence and you’ll be all set

Two heads are better than one: Since I have two heads I know for a fact it’s not better than one. Each one thinks it know more than the other. And the one that makes the decisions usually gets me in trouble, maybe because he only has one eye…..

Wake Up Call (Not the type you should snooze four times)

For those people who, like myself, were glued to news reports this afternoon you already know what transpired. Personally, I am still shocked. I returned from class (like I always do) to a myriad of emails from the Marty’s. When I got to the one about a helicopter hitting a building in NYC, I immediatly turned on the TV. Over the course of the next two hours, I sat there through the everchanging plot created by the media; the helicopter changed to a plane; terrorist may have been involved, then they weren’t; two people died, then four people, then three people (and so on and so on). Then it came out that the plane was owned by Cory Lidle, a relief pitcher for the Yankees. Things escalated quickly from that point, and before long the “Cory Lidle is dead” reports were everywhere.

The thing that freaked me out the most was that he pitched on Saturday, and had the Yankees beat the Tigers, Cory Lidle might still be alive. I’m not gonna lie, usually I am one of the first five people to make a joke about a dead person, but today I didn’t really want to. Thankfully, most of the commentors on Deadspin ignored their conscience today. Deadspin.com is a great site for any sports fan. Besides reporting news, they provide links to tons of great sports entertainment, and most of all you can’t leave out the eccentric mix of knowledgeable and inconsiderate fans. Here is a small sampling of some of their comments:

  • So I guess Thurmon Munson will be remembered as the 2nd worst pilot in Yankee history.
  • The plane should have been carrying A-Rod…That way it wouldn’t have hit anything.
  • The Yankees will do anything to keep the Mets out of the papers.
  • Of course if this was TO, everyone would assume it was a publicity stunt.
  • R.I.P Cory Lidle. Your 20.05 Post-season ERA will be missed.

This event is no question a tragedy, but is it fair that the sorrow was amplified because the victim was in the public eye? If Steve Porter (married, with a six year old kid) had been flying that plane, where would the media emphasis be? If that was the case, the terrorist storyline would still be prevelent now. I guess you just have to walk away from this with a better appreciation of life. Over 40,000 people left Tiger Stadium on Saturday not knowing that Cory Lidle would be dead in less than a week. Just goes to show you that no day should be taken for granted.

Life on the White Water

When Tara asked me to go white water rafting, I quickly jumped on the opportunity. It’s the kind of thing that is cool enough that I wanted to do eventually, but would have never tried to initiate myself. Back when I was a wee little freshman, I had nothing to do on the second day of classes so I took a ride up to New Paltz and jumped out of a plane from 40,000 feet.

As the days drew near, I started to have Piccinich-like thoughts that this wasn’t going to happen, but Tara and Karen stood tall and I handed over the $20 for the trip. Strangely the twenty bucks was fully refundable once you showed up for the trip, I’m still not too sure of its purpose. But I was still reluctantly stoked over the entire thing.

A few days before the trip we were filling out waivers and permission slips and I looked at the list of things you should and should not bring and in nice bold letters at the top was: No T-Shirts, No Jeans, No Sweatshirts. Now, if you were to take a look at my closet at the present time it is made up of 70% T-Shirts, 30% Jeans and 30% Sweatshirts. That’s right 130% of my non-unmentionable clothing is precisely what not to wear when going white water rafting. F.

I spent the day before in Boston with Sara, her canuck and her family leaving me with zero time to prepare. However, I returned to campus to find some spare Under Armor waiting for me along with a PB & J for lunch on the river; all courtesy of Tara. I’m such a lucky guy. Things were starting to look up!

The next morning we woke up to the sound of rain against the window pane. My water absorbent clothing was looking very forward to the chance to give me hypothermia. Thankfully there was only one Piccinich on this trip and when we got to East Campus we found a room filled with white water rafting equipment. After a 30 minute session eerily reminiscent of Alfred fitting Bruce Wayne for the batsuit, I was feeling relatively confident about my upcoming battle with the elements.

The overlying theme of the entire ride to the Berkshires was rain. It didn’t stop and it didn’t taper at all. We pulled off the highway at 10:20 three quarters of the way to our destination and stopped at a gas station. I gazed out the window and saw one of my five favorite signs in the world: Pizza Hut. I jumped out of the car and ran through the rain, opened the pearly gates and right to the cash register. The woman behind the counter looked surprised to see me at such an hour but that did not deter me from ordering the #3: a cheese pizza, breadsticks, and a soda. I spent the rest of the ride buried in the flavor.

After getting to Zoor (the place of rafting) we changed and prepared for the upcoming voyage. We hopped in the car and drove another 20 minutes to the launching basin.

It never occurred to me until we got there that this was going to be 10 mile rafting trip. At 12:00 the bell began to toll and the water for the river was released.

We were on the river for almost five hours and I’m not going to lie most of it was definitely not blog worthy, not to say that it wasn’t fun, I had a great time, but to spare your brain, I’ll run through the highlights:

A few hundred feet down river we came upon our first rapid of the day and for some reason our guide wanted us to paddle up river for 10 minutes in the middle of it. I immediately became extremely winded. For the record there was still 9.9 miles to go.

At some point we reached the first swimming area of the trip. I took the opportunity to push Tara into the water. This started Raft War I, which featured Tara going in four times (twice on her own), Karen went in four times and Dan went in twice. Notice I never touched the water. Point.

The river mostly had smaller rapids (Class ones and twos I was told), however there was one class three rapid. When we got there Meryl Streep and Kevin Bacon (fully clothed) were watching over the proceedings. Granted it only took 15 seconds to make it through the rapid, it was pretty cool. After the rapid we tied the boats to a nearby tree and the guide s asked us if anyone wanted to jump off some overhanging rocks. Of course I raised my hand. So I climb on top of this rock with the guide and he goes over the plan with me:

“You see that, it’s a rock.
(Points down stream 5 feet)
You see that, it’s another rock. Land in between them”

Mind you I am over 6 feet tall so this gives me a negative one foot margin of error. By this point I was feeling understandably reluctant. So I jumped off the rock and got sucked under water, after that I’m not sure what happened. I just know I came up and saw the raft and grabbed it. I got out of the water and climbed back up to the rock. Everyone else asked me how it was and I literally had nothing to tell them because I didn’t even know what happened. Of course after everyone went once, I decided to jump again, but thankfully it went much better the second time. After floating down river a little longer the guides turned to me and said that after I jumped in, I stayed underwater longer than anyone should and they almost decided it was a bad idea to let anyone else jump.

After the whole jumping in to the rapid thing, Tara and I became extremely winded, but for the record, we weren’t cold at all, even with the pouring rain and the pushing into the water. Oh wait, I was never pushed in, just everyone else.

When we finally found out that there was only half a mile left, Tara and I jumped up and paddled at full strength. It was already 4:15 and we just wanted to watch football. Fortunately we got back in time for the fourth quarter of the games. The entire day was awesome especially since it was rather easy to stave off hypothermia. But that’s not saying the hot chocolate at the end wasn’t phenomenal.