Month: February 2007

Title Track (2.21.07)

Posted on by Gentlemanly Productions

The much-hyped NBA All-Star Weekend in Las Vegas has come and gone, and what else can I say that hasn’t already been said. One of the biggest issues was the possibility of Vegas becoming the home to a NBA franchise. Most people agreed the lack of a suitable arena was one thing that was holding the city back. The mayor has been pushing for one and all of the gripes about the Thomas & Mack Center by fans, players, the media, and even David Stern may greatly help his cause.

Would Vegas be a good home for a NBA team? Besides the prolific gambling concern, would the fan base support a team? Vegas is the ultimate tourist destination, so between tourists and residents you would think the fan base would be solid. (Vegas is the 31st biggest metropolis at 1.7 million people; this doesn’t count tourists) But there is so much to do in Vegas that unless the team had a bona fide Top-10 Superstar on it’s roster, I don’t think it could consistently pack the joint after year two.

Bill Simmons is huge now. He was listed as one of the top twenty most influential online people. You could see it coming all along, every time there was an update made to ESPN.com his section got bigger and bigger. Now every time he writes a column, he gets the marquis space on the site. On top of that, rumor has it his ESPN contract is up this year. It will be interesting to see what happens.

In other columnist news, Steve Rushin is out at Sports Illustrated. Will he jump ship to Page 2. He is like a poor man’s Simmons; with fewer pop culture references and a cunning usage of the language. Will Simmons stay with the Worldwide Leader or perhaps will he once again fly solo. Sometimes the fans follow (Max Kellerman, Day One), sometimes they don’t (Max Kellerman, Day Two)

This past weekend, while vacationing in Springfield, Tara and I went ice skating with SSB and the Canuck. We meandered over to Forest Park where the ice rink was. During the Zamboni break I began to goof off with this kid who was on the other side of the hockey glass. Now don’t you call Chris Hansen. Anyway once skating resumed I figured it was over and done with. Wrong. Out of nowhere the kid tries to tackle me on the ice. He is not a very good skater so I am easily able to get away. The next twenty minutes is filled with high hilarity being that he is disregarding all flows of traffic and just trying to get me. As I stand on one end of the ice, I watch as he skates towards me and takes out three people, at which point I move to the other end of the ice and this scenario repeats. For the rest of the session he progressively became more dastardly and it culminated with him spitting me when I told him I was leaving. Then I saw him a few minutes later with his parents and he had the audacity to wave at me like I was his best friend. This is a perfect example of why parents always say “my son/daughter wouldn’t do that. He/she is such a good kid.” Anyway this whole story has been building up to this terrible conversation between myself and two other guys who witnessed the entire travishamockery:

Me: Wow little kids sure can be the devil.
Marty: Well now we know what happened to Jon Benet
(Beware of terrible comment……..now)
J.R: Yea, she spit

It’s a shame what the mail chain has become. There is nothing but insults. For example I’ll write that Mar never goes to work because he makes a living milking J’s T’s since his face never leaves them. To which he will leave a comment on this blog saying something that outlandish about me.

Hansen: Sir, what are you doing here?

Stanton: What are you doing here, dickhead?

Hansen: what were you doing here sir
Santa: I was bringing Mary a magical package
Hansen: And you keep it in your sack?
Santa: Yes.
Hansen: I see you have been sending letters back and forth with her
Santa: Yes thats right
Hansen: You write that you “know when she’s been naughty” and “you know when she’s been nice” and “you can see her when she is sleeping”

All JT wanted was some Oatmeal. He was sick of the Mia-tball sandwich. Granted he was killed by the punk from Lakehurst who had a kid with Mia and decided to pee on JT’s car the same one that he crashed through the bus stop with after Liberty told him that she was pregnant with his child that they would soon give up for adoption. Afterwards Ms. Hot Sauce who took over as principal after Raddich was deemed incompetent by the school board told them that accidents will happen which was the name of the episode where Manny was impregnated by Craig and subsequently had to get an abortion. At the time Craig was dating Ashley who was normal but then turned goth when she took ecstasy at her house party and insulted her friends and hooked up with Sean even though she was dating Jimmy at the time who now is confined to a wheelchair because he was shot in the back by Rick who thought that he set him up to get humiliated after the Whack Your Brain contest when in reality it was Spinner, Jay and Alex. Sean finally put an end to the madness by grabbing Rick and the gun and in the process shooting Rick and killing him. Sean then went insane and moved back to Wasega Beach where he once deafened a kid in one ear with a cheap shot. Ellie who was dating Sean at the time was not happy with the decision because she was previously dating Marco who turned out to be gay and is dating Dylan now whose sister Paige was once raped by Dean from Bardell before she became a lesbian when she went to a party without telling her boy friend Spinner who has had atrocious haircuts throughout the series and who once tried to burn down Degrassi but was stopped by Jay who gave Emma gonorrhea before she turned bulimic and started dating Peter who once took pictures of Manny with her top off which isn’t half as creepy as when Peter convinced Darcy to put scandalous pictures on her My Room page so that a dateline pedo could stalk her even though her newly-reformed boyfriend Spinner now done with his Downtown Sasquatch days because Craig the lead singer went off to record a solo album and became addicted to cocaine which he blamed on Manny who was living with Emma who was finally back with Sean after his stint in Juvi for running over a pedestrian while street racing Peter And of course we know that Jimmy can’t run anymore and little Jimmy isn’t to happy either as Ashley soon found out but she was happy that she didn’t have to deal with bipolar Craig anymore who was beat by his father and snapped at the school dance after he was elected Luau King and he was consoled by Terri who mysteriously disappeared from the show after she was put into a coma by the abusive and late Rick whose life was made a living hell by Emma until she turned face and befriended him even though no one else would especially Paige who was friends with Terri but routinely fought with Manny the whore who JT longed to impress but once Danny depantsed him and Manny found out that he had a stack of dimes in his pants his chances greatly decreased but not as much as when Manny caught him using a penis pump shortly before JT had his first wet dream with Liberty and he became addicted to oatmeal
In Conclusion Tara and Nick are Awesome.

41 Afterthoughts

Posted on by Gentlemanly Productions

1) I wasn’t going to do a post-game blog, but you talked me into it.

2) For the record I don’t know who “you” is

3) Since I don’t want the big, bad, omnipresent NFL coming after me, I will refrain from using their trademarked terms.

4) The 42.6 rating was pretty huge. And the average viewership of of 93.18 million makes it the third most-watched TV program of all time. Behind the game eleven years ago (Dallas v. Pittsburgh) and the MASH series finale

5) Speaking of the Dallas v. Pittsburgh game, why wasn’t a bigger deal made of the name of the game? The Porn Bowl would have been a great title. Granted I was in sixth grade at the time, but I still should have picked up on that.

6) The rain did not play a factor in the game

7) The USA Today chose the Budweiser Crab commercial as the best ad. Really?

8) So which ad was my favorite? Easy.

12) This list is going to be a lot harder than anticipated

13) Beep Bop Boop Bip

14) Rex Grossman was who we thought he was. And the Bears should let him get away.

15) The rating was greatly helped by Chicago playing. Chicago is the number three market in the country, so a big number there can boost the overall rating. Where were the two lowest ratings? New York and Los Angeles. The number one and two markets respectively.

16) Imagine how huge a New York v. Los Angeles game would be. Maybe NBC will be lucky enough to get that in 2009. Oh, wait……..

17) Here’s a new one. Out with a hiccup. It could happen. She could get away with it.

18) Moment of silence for the late JT Yorke. Just think at least they had to kill you off instead of just letting you disappear into oblivion. (See: Terri McGregor, the black kid who dated Liberty, and Kendra Mason)

19) Move over football, make way for March Madness…which is a great segway for the Masters which means that Summer is practically here!

20) Maybe

21) I

22) Can

23) Get

24) Away

25) With

26) Killing

27) Time

28) Like

29) This

30) Hahahaha Porn Bowl. I’m mature

31) Oh man I almost forgot. The ten-second promo spot for the Late Show was genius. Letterman cuddling with Oprah after their long time fued. Well played sirs. Side note Letterman originally wanted the ad to be with Trump and Rosie.

32) Read this entry in a sexy voice. Like Ricardo Montalban.

33) What is it with celebrities that gives them a different aura than most people. When I was walking downstair I passed Matt Lauer, Meredith Viera, and Martha Stewart setting up for a Today show piece and it felt different than watching say…Joe Schmo setting up something…I don’t know, shut up

34) I got a laser pen at work this week. I’ll give it away to person with the lowest unique bid so that I don’t go blind by next week. Did I mention it has a built-in 1GB flash drive. Bidding starts now.

35) Is that Enya playing? OH MY GOD THAT’S CM POINT’S ENTRANCE MUSIC!!

36) …..ladies…..

37) Why did CBS let Salesgenie.com run a spot so early in the broadcast? If I worked in compliance I would have blocked it due to its horrific nature. I guess it shows money talks. However, I guess people are talking about it and isn’t that what commercials are meant for.

38) Interesting fact. Advertisers usually fight for the early spots and those tend to be the most expensive, but generally the third quarter features the highest ratings.

39) One of Letterman’s top ten excuses why the Bears lost was: “Because Peyton said he would put us in a commercial with him if we let him win.” If you hated all the Peyton Mannning commercials before, get ready for even more. Sidenote, he makes $10 million a year in endorsements as of now. Just as a comparison, D. Wade makes $15 million

40) Chubbs still $4.99 a pound

41) It’s lessthan3…..I going to catch Goulet today….