Like any good blog on this here interwebs, March means one thing. COMPLETELY RANDOM BRACKETS WHICH MEAN NOTHING! Covering the Spread is teaming up with the Glass Case of Emotion to bring you the first sext-annual Piccinich Madness bracket. The bracket consists of people and events that have crossed our paths over the past six years. After an extremely scientific Selection Friday process at Buffalo Wild Wings, the field was cut to 68 participants, so that means, four play-in games!
As the days progress, we will whittle down the participants until we reach the ultimate champion. Each match up will be voted on by you, and like Korean Rummy, multiple votes and cheating will be allowed and encouraged. Let the games begin.
First up, the four play-in games. Once these winners are determined, the full brackets will be revealed.
Triple Crown Region
The winner of the first play-in game will go on to take on the number one seed in the Triple Crown Region, Chevy Chase.
Waffle House v. Papa John’s Stadium
Waffle House:Our first trip to the Waffle House was after the 2004 Kentucky Derby. We specifically picked the Best Western in East Bumblefuck because it was next to a waffle house. Ever since that first trip to this fine southern restaurant, it has become a routine stop on any southern swing. Other Waffle House highlights include:
– The female cook with a hairnet and eye patch
– Anfron going to another table and eating discarded their discarded food
– Ostrowe passing out in the car outside, then waking up to female titties on the window
– Anfron ordering “a friggin steak” and to drink “a friggin beer”
Papa John’s Stadium:
After going through a pink light in Louisville during the aforementioned Kentucky Derby trip, we set up camp for the night in the parking lot of Papa John’s Stadium. Dmo, Ostrowe, and Rick tried to sleep in one car, as Chubbs, Poppers, and Jurgen slept in the other. Highlights:
– Poppers and Jurgen being able to fit in the same car as Chubbs
– Crappy band in crappy bar across the street playing until four in the morning
– Sleeping with the windows open only to be woken up by a rainstorm which left us soaked
– Rick washing his hands in a puddle only to find out that Ostrowe had just peed in it.
Ostrowe: This is a very tough match up
Rick: Foodwise you have to give the edge to the Waffle House
O: Waffle House also has the creepy cook with an eye patch advantage
R: Papa John’s Stadium is one of kind though
O: We did manage to spend the entire night in a parking lot in a major city and the only bad thing that happened was that the cleaning crew tried to run us over.
The winner of this play-in game will go on to take on the number one seed in the Testudo Region, Mullets Over Miami.
Parsippany v. Buffalo Wild Wings Opening Day
Parsippany was the culmination of a long day of drinking at Bailey’s, after which Jim$ decided that we should all go to a party his friends were having in Parsippany. Jim$ Ostrowe and Ole Mel were in one car, followed by Rick and Lindsay, who left without ever setting foot in the party, which featured an escalating game of “I Never” between Jim$ and Ostrowe, kegs of green beer, and a classic Ole Mel drunken freak out.
Buffalo Wild Wings Opening Day:
The BWW opening was the subject of a yet to be typed up running diary, and consisted of Dmo getting to the mall at 7am in order to be the first in line for free wings for a year. He was joined by Ostrowe and Sars, and later, Moro Rick and Tara. The BWW staff was woefully under prepared for the demands of a busy football Sunday, and Ostrowe nearly had an aneurysm trying to get them to put the Carolina game on. Later when Moro ordered mild wings, he was brought wild. He didn’t figure it out until after his first bite. This quickly became a Moroism. It also featured Sars hitting on the insanely hot bartender in Polish, and Moro throwing down a group of singles less than his share of the bill and walking out before anyone could count (aka Pulling a Moro).
O: Both involve long days of drinking
R: But only one has a drunk Jim$ which adds another dimension
O: Don’t forget the drunk and crying Melissa, but BWW does have Moro and his cheeky shenanigans
R: BWW is also the Godfather of other tournament participants (Tiki Barber)
Dart Board Region
The winner of this play-in game will go on to take on the number one seed in the Dart Board Region, Fitzys.
Winded v. Piccinich Madness Bracket
Nobody embodies the state of being winded as well as Mar does. Just the other day Mar had a dream that he was sleeping because he was fatigued. No one can be sure of when this started or how, but it is quite contagious. Now we are all winded, or fatigued, or exhausted. Back in 2006, June 18, 2008 was set as the over/under for when Mar would no longer be winded. As of right now, the over is almost guaranteed to win.
Piccinich Madness Bracket:
The most surprising entry in the bracket, is the bracket itself. It embodies the past six years of our life and has the potential to to cause a tear in the fabric of existence. Just think about it.
O: Piccinich Madness is the stupidest thing we have ever done
R: Personally I’ve spent 8 of the past 24 hours doing this for this god damn thing
O: Clearly the most amount of effort any of us has ever put into a joke that will have little to no longevity
R: What is the over/under for how long this actually last? Will we make it to the end?
O: I think people will stop voting after the second day.
R: They are going to be too winded
The winner of this play-in game will go on to take on the number one seed in the Jameson Region, Terry.
Pats King of Steaks v. Eddie O’s Basement
Pats King of Steaks:
Starting with Dmo and Ostrowe’s trip to Mar State on Masters weekend to visit Mar at college, Pat’s King of Steaks has been a staple of every trip to and around the Philadelphia area. Any Piccinich traveling to the area is given a list of orders to place so that gentlemen not participating in the trip can enjoy Pat’s greasy deliciousness.
Eddie O’s Basement:
Eddie O’s basement has housed several gentlemen prior to the various Belmont’s we have attended, in addition to housing his hot mom and Coach O’Shea, it has the unique feature that can only exist in a world without sunlight. Though there is a window, no matter what time of day it is, the window is always black as the darkest night. This caused great confusion for Dmo and Ostrowe during a midsummer visit for a keg party, when they repeatedly went back to sleep, thinking it was still night.
R: I hold the record for the most cheese steaks bought at one time (eight)
O: That is because you are a gentleman. I could go for a cheese steak right now. I could also go for a nap in Eddie O’s basement
R: I habitually talk in my sleep in Eddie O’s basement
O: Coach O’Shea habitually bangs Eddie O’s mom
R: mmmmmmm Cheese Steaks
O: mmmmmmm Eddie O’s Mom
Voting Starts now.
Vote Early, Vote Often, Vote Piccinich