There are two types of trains on the Metro-North Hudson Line; the new trains and the old trains. In the new trains, there is a section of five seats that face each other, three on one side, two on the other. Figure A demonstrates the proper way to sit in these seats.
Notice that this configuration maximizes leg room and gives the two people on the same side a buffer seat. Now let’s see what happened to me on Friday when a douche bag ignored this simple unspoken rule.
I arrived at the train early and grabbed my favorite seat on the train, the extra seat in the group of five, MAXIMUM LEG ROOM!Then, this is when things got hairy. Even for someone who is unaware of this unspoken rule, there is still a 50% chance that they pick a seat that is acceptable. And in actuality when those four seats are open, you can guarantee they won’t pick the one next to you therefore there is only a 33% chance they can fuck up your ride. I bet you can figured out what happened next.
Oh yea, and guess what he was a fatty, and he put all his bags on the seat next to him. A few moments later when another fine gentleman showed up, there was only one place for him to sit. The guy next to me of course pulled out his computer and was type type typing away. Thus making my personal space that much smaller with his flailing elbiddy-bones. I know it’s only one ride in a pool of many, but still, I have this blog and I can complain about whatever the hell I want.
Shortly after my escapades on the train I headed to the mall to meet the rest of the gentlemen at BWW, however, in the process I was distracted by Best Buy, and since I didn’t have Tara to talk some sense into me, things got messy. Follow along to see how to effectively buy 10 DVDs in 10 Minutes.
7:15 – Walk into Best Buy with the intention of buying season 2 of FNL and Event Horizon. Head straight to the new release section and grab FNL (1).
7:16 – Notice the Cloverfield is next to FNL. Remember that Ostrowe said it was a good movie. Add Cloverfield to your “cart,” and head over the horror section to find Event Horizon. (2)
7:17 – Realize that in fact, Event Horizon is not labeled as a horror movie. Find it in the sci-fi section and head towards the registers. (3)
7:18 – Remember the time you wanted to buy Detroit Rock City for only $5 but Tara told you it was a bad idea. Head to the comedy section only to realize that you don’t own Chasing Amy for some reason. Add both of them to your “cart.” (5)
7:19 – Take the long way out of the comedy section due to congestion on one end. Exit the DVD section through the TV show aisle. See Chapelle’s Show season 2 retailing for $27. Think to yourself: “That is too much, I don’t need Chapelle that badly.”
7:20 – “But it is so funny.” (Pick up DVD) “Lil’ Jon, Race Draft, Charlie Murphy! I can’t pass this up. I just got paid though, I can splurge.”
7:21 – Realize that it is more thrifty to buy the Dave Chapelle 3-pack DVD for $40. (8)
7:22 – Walk towards the register, but make sure you catch the first season of Upright Citizens Brigade out of the corner of your eye. Think: “Well, I just spent $40 on Chapelle, so $23 on UCB couldn’t hurt.” (9)
7:23 – Make it to the register without further incident. Oh wait, is that Little Miss Sunshine, you liked that movie the one time you saw it, you might as well get that one too. Why buy 9 DVDs when you can buy 10?
7:24 – “OK.” (10)
7:25 – Pay $157.34 and get the hell out of dodge.
Don’t judge me.