Gentlemanly Gathering #127: Shea Stadium

Happy Everyday

As it is with the NBC baseball tickets, Rick wasn’t made aware that they might be available until 5 hours before game time. As such, he needed to work quickly to try to organize a motley crew of gentlemen to attend the game with him. Interestingly enough, Dmo, the biggest Mets fan of us all, already had tickets to the game with Fitz and Fitz’s Sis. Somehow Rick managed to organize and coordinate Joyce, Jmac, and Anfron meeting him at Shea to join him in the NBC seats. What was expected to be an rather mundane evening, quickly escalated into a night worthy of a running diary. Sadly Rick was not prepared and was forced to bang this out from memory. (Ed. Note: I’m not going to try to remember times)

Rick Leaves work and calls everyone to see where they are. Jmac is on the Hutch. Joyce and Dmo are retarded.
Rick: Did you guys remember Anfron
Joyce: Anfron? Just kidding he is here.
Rick: Where are you?
Joyce: The Whitestone Bridge. Or Rockland. I’m not sure. Talk to Dmo.
Dmo: (In the background) Don’t give me that I am driving.

Rick makes it to Shea in record time. And calls Joyce to find out where they are.
Rick: What gate are you near?
Joyce: X-7
Rick: What? I’m right next Gate C. Are you near Gate A, B, C, or D?
Joyce: A2. Under a nice palm tree.
Rick: You make no sense

Anfron, Dmo and Joyce need cups for their tailgate and the general consensus was that Joyce has the best social skills of the 3, meaning slightly less retarded
Scale – Anfron: 20 Dmo: 19.5 Joyce: 19.3
Joyce goes over to a group of people to try to buy 3 solo cups for $2 but using his Swiss Gypsy skills he manages to get the three cups for free.

Rick gives up and tries to meet up with Jmac on the street somewhere so they can utilize the free parking pass. 25 minutes and a sweet k turn by Jmac later they have found a parking spot.

The Motley Crew of Joyce, Dmo, Anfron, Jmac, Rick, & Fitz’s Sis meet up in the parking lot. For the record X-7 and A-2 are both about 250 yards from where they are standing.

Whatthefuckisthis?!?!?! Where is Fitz? He has to wake up at 4 AM so he bailed.

Jmac, Joyce, & Anfron all fight over who buys Rick food.

Jmac is stunned by the fact Wes Helms is playing. He is not sure why he loves him so much, but his infatuation is contagious. By the end of the night we are all cheering for Wes Helms

A random guy comes down to the dugout with his 6 year old son named Nick. It is Little Nicky’s first ever baseball game and his dad is intent on getting him a ball. Whenever any of us go to the bathroom, Nicky and his dad take our seats

Anfron goes to get beers and drops them off at the seats, then goes to the bathroom. He doesn’t return for 20 minutes, but we find out that he was just talking to Dmo

Anfron gets a text from Jim$ “There is an hot Asian in my accounting class, I expected to see you right behind her banging her in the ass”

Rick visits Dmo and the Marlins hit another home run. Dmo points out that whenever someone visits him the Marlins hit a home run. Fitz’s Sis points out that Abby’s titties take up the entire stadium

Joyce and Anfron have made it their own personal crusade to get Little Nicky a ball. It reached the point where his dad realized that we were trying hard enough to get the ball for him that he left Little Nicky with us

Jmac has taken exception with the guys in the booth next to us

Little Nicky loves when Joyce screams at Wes Helms

Hanley Ramirez lets go of his bat and it flies into the stands, Rick proclaims that his hands were slippery because he was lubing up Abby in the dugout

Anfron goes to the bathroom and never returns, in his place we have….DRUNK ANFRON!!
(That was unexpected)

Reminder: What is the most tell-tale sign of Drunk Anfron. All he can say is “Titties” and “Bah I’m Winded”

Drunk Anfron: “This kid is awesome, I love him, look at him, he just wants titties in his face”

Jmac gets out of his seat, runs over to Doug, tells him Happy Everyday and runs all the way back

There is a family of asians a few row behind us, when Drunk Anfron goes to tell they Happy Everyday, they tell him to get away from him

From a distance, Dmo is getting ancy

Drunk Anfron pees 3 times an inning

We order from a waiter and when our food and beers come, Jmac’s haggling skills become apparent
Waiter: Since it is almost the 7th, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll give you two beers for $10
Jmac: We got two beers already
W: I’ll give you two more
J: I need to see the beers
W: I gave you two already
J: Show me the beers
W: I gave you two beers, and I’ll give you two more for $10
J: But I already paid for two beers
W: And I’ll give you two more
J: So show me the beers
W: I gave you two already
J: And you want to give us more beers for $20. I already paid $30
W: Jesus. I gave you two beers. And I’ll give two more. For $10
J: Show me the beers
W: I’m trying to hook you guys up here
J: Show me the beers
W: God. Look here are the two beers
J: That’s all I needed to see
Meanwhile, during this retarded conversation, the guy kept opening beers and Drunk Anfron would take them and put them under his seat. All told, we got 7 beers for $25.

During the 7th inning stretch Mr. Met dances on the dugout right in front of us. He is a gentleman. Little Nicky gets muscled out of his spot on the dugout by two little girls, they stay there for 10 minutes. And so begins a young man’s life of being pushed around by girls

Joyce is still screaming WWWEEESSSSSSSS at the top of his lungs, Anfron is still talking about Little Nicky having titties in his face

Mets down 1 in the 9th. Endy Chavez hits a pinch hit home run to tie the game. The place goes nuts. Rick turns around to give high-fives, but sees Drunk Anfron picking Little Nicky up above his head. Drunk Anfron then falls over backwards and crashes to the ground while holding Little Nicky. Drunk Anfron is a danger to humanity.

The Marlins score in the top of the 12th. But the Mets score twice in the bottom of the 12th to win the game. Drunk Anfron can barely walk out of the stadium.

On the car ride home Anfron proclaims his love of titties. Multiple times

May the God Bless you for ever. I am winded

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