Retro Post: Paper Airplanes

My first year at Springfield College (2004-2005) I lived on the the top floor of the tallest building on campus with every single one of my friends. That was the best full year of my college career. (Fall 2006 was amazing). At some point in the year, we realized that we could open one of the windows in the kitchen to afford us an unblocked view of the Mighty Massasoit. I soon realized, “Hey, we can make paper airplanes and throw them out the window and it will be alot of fun.” And that it was. What follows are the Paper Airplane Chronicles. NOTE: After throwing paper airplane, we would go outside to pick up our trash. We were gentlemen after all.

THE LEGEND OF THE PAPER AIRPLANE BELT
In the beginning, no one thought that the belt would ever be attainable. El Dragon poco Diablo
guarded the belt and was unslayable. Then on that dreamy night in September the unthinkable happened, Brain Matthews hit the Massasoit. When the dragon saw that the feat had been accomplished, he relinquished the belt, however the belt still lay hidden in the Eastfield Cave. Sir Matthews laid down the Gauntlet and set the standards for all the engineers that would follow him. After that fateful day in late September many students lined up at that window and let their creations fly. Hundreds of planes flew out that window for the next two months until the 15th of November 2004.

Translation: We never thought anyone could reach the lake with a plane. Brian was the first person to reach it. Once he did that, we decided to buy a plastic WWF belt at the Eastfield Mall to give to the best paper airplane maker.

On that morning Sir Marty of Piccinich felt particularly inspired before his Dynamics of Leadership class. He set out for the lounge with his standard computer paper, his trusty duct tape, and a pair of scissors. There he built the magnificent paper airplane man had ever seen. It flew so true during the test runs inside he knew it was destined for greatness. As he approached the window he looked back behind him to make sure that there were people around to witness his flight in case it was a good one. He assumed the position in front of the window and threw the plane and watched as it just took off. The flight was simply perfect. He screamed like a little girl to make sure that Jon and Rose would come running.

Translation: On November 15, 2004 Rick made a paper airplane that he was really proud of. He threw it out the window, and when it started looking good, he screamed like a little girlto make sure that Jon and Rose would come running

As they got to the window all Jon and Rose could see was the plane flying higher and straighter than any other plane that had left that window. As it cleared the highest tree that guarded the Massasoit, it showed no sign of straying from its majestic course. As the plane, which was more papyrus than paper, touched down in the water, Sir Marty lept for joy over and over. Not only did he match Sir Brian’s feat, he dwarfed the accomplishment. He ran down the stairs and reached the dock only to see his plane start to sink to the bottom of the lake. That day Sir Marty perfected his plane and he would go on to hit the Massasoit two more times in the next twenty-four hours. A feat that still has not been matched to this day. The Champ is here

Translation: In those days, like now, Rick had too much time on his hands

RULES OF THE BELT
In order to call yourself the champ you must defend your belt once every fourteen days or else you must vacate the title. There are exceptions for winter and summer break. A title defense consists of at least two people who each throw three planes out the window. Participants only get five minutes to build and test each of their planes. Illegal substances such as steroids or steroid like substances have been dubbed illegal by the International Commission of Paper Airplanes (ICPAP). The champ must have an honorable reason to decline a challenge or else the belt is forfeit. For complete Rules and Regulations and Plane Specifications send One Dollar to Happy Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace Springfield U.S.A

AND NOW A WORD FROM OUR COMMISSIONER…
FLY!
– Peter Baldwin
Commissioner
Springfield College ’07

RECORDS
Furthest (Distance) Flight: The Rick [Third Railroad Support]
Career Splash Downs:
The Rick (19)
Peter Baldwin (3)
Brian Matthews (2)
Amanda Hill (1)
Todd Luther (1)
Baldtthews (1)
Most Splash Downs During a Title Fight:
The Rick (3)
Peter Baldwin (1)

THE LIFE OF THE BELT

A Replica of the Spirit of Piccinich

The Guardian of the Massasoit. This tree ruined the flights of many a plane
The Window from which planes were thrown
View from the edge of the lake. The dot indicates where the Spirit of Piccinich landed. Greatest. Throw. Ever.

Amanda can’t do homework with out the belt
It’s not easy being champ
Rose never liked putting up with my shit
Pedro does Kung Fu to impress the belt
Amanda wanted to take the belt to Virginia, but the belt just wanted to taunt her
This kiss, this kiss
If the belt had to say that it had one mortal enemy, he would have to say Sara. Sara refuses to have any part of the belt. If it is around she suddenly has the urge to punch whoever is in possession of the belt as long as it is Rick

Those were the days

Avenging Springy the Springfield Spring

Don’t mind the title. My contract says I need to included at least one random reference in every blog post. Now, on to the show

As I am typing this, The Bella Conference Center in Copenhagen, Denmark is filled with anticipation. Delegations from Madrid, Chicago, Tokyo, and Rio are in the process of trying to woo IOC board member into awarding their city the 2016 Summer Olympic Games. The cities have pulled out all the stops by bringing some big names into the ring with them: Oprah, Obama, Pele, Ronaldo, and many more.

Going into today, Chicago has been named the odds on favorite, with Rio being a close second. Experts say Madrid is too close to London (Host of the 2012 games), and Toyko is too close to Beijing (Host of the 2008 games). 2016 will mark 20 years since the last Summer games in North America (Atlanta), but recent public polls show that only 45% of Chicago residents want the games to come to their city. Rio’s two biggest strengths are that 90% of their residents want the games and there have never been an Olympic Games held in South America. Regardless, both cities will be attractive to American Broadcasters.

Shortly after a winner is announced in Copenhagen, American Broadcasters will start bidding for the rights to air the 2014 Winter Games (Sochi, Russia. Not very attractive) and 2016 Summer Games (Very attractive, especially if Chicago or Rio wins). The last bidding took place in 2003 when NBC won the right to air the 2010 and 2012 games. At the time of the bid, neither location had been selected. That year, NBC wound up paying $820 Million for the 2010 Games (later awarded to Vancouver) and $1.18 BILLION for the 2012 Games (later awarded to London).

NBC and Fox are expected to bid for these games, however, the dark horse, and maybe even the favorite depending on who you ask, is ESPN. The evil empire has incredibly deep pockets due to fact they collect subscription fees on top of ad revenue. (almost $5/mo per subscriber between all their networks, so we are talking over $400MM/mo before ad revenue) NBC and Fox don’t have such luxuries. With a local Olympics the rights fee will be ludicrously high. But on the other hand, Rio is only one hour ahead of NY, so that also works for the American public.

Needless to say, I am very excited today. And this doesn’t even factor in the Comcast/NBC rumors that have been floating around… Coverage starts on Universal Sports at 10:00AM ET

UPDATE: Chicago was eliminated in the first vote. Apparently this was a concern from the beginning. The IOC members tend to vote for their home continent in the first round regardless of who they think have a better bid. The final decision is between Madrid (Home of former IOC President Juan Antonio Samaranch) and Rio.

UPDATE TWO: RIO WINS!