The second round is about to get underway. The people are 20% of the way to crowning their gentleman.
1 Jim$ v 4 Original Jim$
– Defending Gentleman of the Year
– He’s a fucking gentleman
– Someday, people will tell tales of the Dierck$en administration and I will say that I was proud to be alive in such an era; properly coined as “The Dierck$en Era of Prosperity”
– Tried to not run this year
– A 3x godfather
– Only person to ever make Rick drink
– Got beers for us when bar was closed.
– Supports the LG.
– Owns a country club.
– Has supplied us with many free meals.
– Invented the “cool breeze” style basketball lay up (behind the back under the legs)
– Excellent financial consultant
2 Joyce v 3 Jurgen
– People were leaving, it was the leaving time and people were leaving because it was the leaving time and people were leaving
– Called Olivia angular
– Got trapped in a rape van
– Kinda looks like a Carlos
– Bought Dmo and Ostrowe White Castle
– Allowed JMac and Ostrowe to spend 24 hours on his couch, and cooked us burgers
– Came up with the idea for the Chilean miner costume, end result being us showered with applause and picture requests
– His dance push up at Jim$ wedding led to another person doing a dance pushup
– Hosted a gentlemanly gathering at his palace
– Bought coffee for everyone
– Busted out the Jameson Special Reserve so we could have Irish coffee
– Vanity. $1600
– He would like to speak to a representative at the front desk so he will call someplace else. Thank you have a good night
– He is also a warrior having sustained the most bruises and cuts out of all of us.
– Steinbrenner of the CoG
2 Mar v 6 Rob the Bartender
– I’ve concluded that the only thing better than big titties is….BIGGER TITTIES!
– Was not sober once in Vegas.
– Taught a hook how to dougie so she wouldn’t steal his camera
– Discovered that Night Fever makes all the girls take their clothes off
Rob the Bartender
– Enjoyed our shenanigans
– Kept serving all of us even though we were clearly hammered
– Chanted “T!I!T!T!I!E!S!” along with us
– “T! I! T! I! … Wait I fucked up”
– Teach me how to Dougie
1 Rick v 5 Brock Singleton
– Randomly created and scored a sheep.
– He takes criticism and corrects his playlist.
– Volunteers his time at ARC to chaperone events, whereas ARC = the COG and events = any gathering of the COG
-Keeps Mike’s Pizza in business
– Kept Mar and Joyce alive on the streets of Baltimore
– Challenged Jim$ to a cotton candy eating contest at a Pirates Game
– Let us stay in his house that smelled like piss
– Took us out in Pittsburgh to meet college chicks
– Has a dog that a stripper left at his house once after sleeping with him
– Shit his pants on the flight back from India this summer
– Defended our country and takes down Big Lenny
– Drives without a shirt in West Virginia.
– A true gentleman.
– Brought imported onion dip to Daryl’s Mansion Warming Party
– Created “Daryl’s Mansion Warming Party” song
– Brought Mrs. Joyce flowers for mother’s day
– Chipped in for Mother’s Day dinner with the Ostrowe family
– A Godfather
– Only person to hook up at Jim$ wedding
THE REDHEAD REGION
1 Dmo v 5 Gary Williams
– Beat up Criss Angel
– Won millions in Vegas
– Looks at chicks applications
– Run the Gentlemanly Fantasy Football league
– The cornerstone of the CoG
– Owner and operator of Club Tit$
2 Daryl v 3 Eddie O
– “I just built Rio the Snowman. He is lacking all major appendages including stick arms. He has no carrot nose because I was too goddamn lazy to get a carrot, and I lack coal or a corn cob pipe to complete the illusion…”
– “I usually disappear into convenience stores and show up at the bar again, 45 minutes later, holding a bag of Doritios. This is what I’m told happens anyway”
– Taught his kidney spanish so it could play on the Mets. It batted .294 with 10 HRs and 72 RBIs. .992 Fielding Percentage
– 6 Martinis at the wedding
– He is married to a gentlewoman.
– He drinks straight bourbon.
– He is a known gentleman.
– He scored 4 touchdowns in one game.
– He just got peg a fork.
– Squats 400 lbs. at the gym.
– 500lb if listening to Baby I Like It
May the god bless you forever