Down to the Elite 8
1 Jim$ v 3 Jurgen
– Defending Gentleman of the Year
– He’s a fucking gentleman
– Someday, people will tell tales of the Dierck$en administration and I will say that I was proud to be alive in such an era; properly coined as “The Dierck$en Era of Prosperity”
– Tried to not run this year
– A 3x godfather
– Only person to ever make Rick drink
– Hosted a gentlemanly gathering at his palace
– Bought coffee for everyone
– Busted out the Jameson Special Reserve so we could have Irish coffee
– Vanity. $1600
– He would like to speak to a representative at the front desk so he will call someplace else. Thank you have a good night
– He is also a warrior having sustained the most bruises and cuts out of all of us.
– Steinbrenner of the CoG
– I’ve concluded that the only thing better than big titties is….BIGGER TITTIES!
– Was not sober once in Vegas.
– Taught a hook how to dougie so she wouldn’t steal his camera
– Discovered that Night Fever makes all the girls take their clothes off
1 Rick v 2 Poppers
– Randomly created and scored a sheep.
– He takes criticism and corrects his playlist.
– Volunteers his time at ARC to chaperone events, whereas ARC = the COG and events = any gathering of the COG
-Keeps Mike’s Pizza in business
– Kept Mar and Joyce alive on the streets of Baltimore
The Redhead Region
1 Dmo v 2 Daryl
– Beat up Criss Angel
– Won millions in Vegas
– Looks at chicks applications
– Run the Gentlemanly Fantasy Football league
– The cornerstone of the CoG
– Owner and operator of Club Tit$
– “I just built Rio the Snowman. He is lacking all major appendages including stick arms. He has no carrot nose because I was too goddamn lazy to get a carrot, and I lack coal or a corn cob pipe to complete the illusion…”
– “I usually disappear into convenience stores and show up at the bar again, 45 minutes later, holding a bag of Doritios. This is what I’m told happens anyway”
– Taught his kidney spanish so it could play on the Mets. It batted .294 with 10 HRs and 72 RBIs. .992 Fielding Percentage
– 6 Martinis at the wedding