Wild Card Strikes Again

This is a Ostrowe/Rick joint post

On March 26, 2012, the wild card did it again. He proposed to his lady friend on the sands in Key West taking everyone by surprise. Everyone agreed that this would happen eventually, but I don’t know if anyone expected it in 2012. Ostrowe and myself spent the ensuing days pouring over social media like it was the Zapruder film. We believed it, but yet it was unbelievable. Rick was telling anyone that would listen since he wasn’t able to tell anyone that mattered. With the happy couple mostly avoiding the internet during their last Floridian days, we had no choice but to obsess over the awesomeness this union would provide in the future:

– Joyce’s Bachelor party. Probably not Vegas, but will be a disaster anyway

– The Jmac Best Man Toast. “Should I be funny? What is no one laughs? No I’m going to do it seriously. No I can’t. What does it matter, I’m handsome. People are just going to be gazing at my face, not listening to my words”

– The Murph Best Man Toast. “uh Joyce is a good friend. I wish them the best”

– Ostrowe trying to keep a straight face during said Best Men Toasts

– Ostrowe and Rick being the most immature people at this wedding

– It’s going to be a HUGE wedding. Both parties have tons of friends and family friends

– The Return of Table 2

– The Return of Martini Daryl

– Ceremonial Dance Pushups

– Over/Under on number of times Mrs. Joyce Cries: 37.5

– Change in the dynamic from the Jim$ wedding now that most of the CoG members have lady friends.

– Ostrowe and Rick still being single at that time trying to talk to girls who inexplicably hate them. Even after all these years, they can only be taken in small doses

– Mrs. Joyce trying to pimp out Rick and Ostrowe to every unmarried girl at the wedding regardless if they brought a date or not

– Rick boozing?

– More pictures of Gentlemen in Suits

– A CoG heavy selection of groomsmen?

– Going to get Cheesesteaks at Pat’s in Tuxedos after the reception at midnight

– Joyce’s entrance song being some kind of dubstep mashup he sent to Ostrowe, Rick and Jmac days before.

– The eerily calm Skydive Joyce taking care of business

– Tic Tac open bar?

– Bearded Someone

– CoG Dance Party consuming the dance floor to whatever dance song is popular next May. Teach me How to Dougie

– Finally meeting Mr. Molly. He is a gentleman.

– Mrs. Joyce making prime rib and serving it to Table 2

– Joyce some how sneaking either Torn, Stay, or White Houses into the playlist

– Two Mrs. Joyces!!

– Things not fit to print on a public blog

Above all, congrats to the Happy Couple!

St. Patrick’s Weekend Post Event Running Diary

Ostrowe’s Birthday + St. Patricks Day + March Madness = Perfect recipe for a running diary.

(Note: This Running Diary is being written two weeks after the fact. The odds of remembering what all these notes were about is very slim.  They also had no times with them, so your guess is as good as mine)

– Rick gets stuck at work a little longer than he would like on a Friday during March Madness.  The gents have been out all day having taken the day off.  Currently they are at the 13th Step.  Rick joins Poppers, Daryl, Dmo, Hutter, Trustey, and Eddie O for the end of the Missouri Game. Ostrowe is currently MIA because he went out for birthday dinner family.  Shockingly, since Kristen was involved, they are eating at a B.R. Guest establishment.

– Missouri in on the ropes against the 15 seed Norfolk State.  After a chalky day one, everyone is foaming at the mouth for a juicy upset.  With 30 seconds left, Jmac leaves to go see the Lorax with LB knowing full well the running diary will ridicule him.  Sunshine and Rainbows.

– Norfolk State wins. Everyone is now ecstatic including people like Rick who had Missouri in their final four.

– 13th step is terrible for games.  Bad TV coordination.  The three TVs in front of us have the Knicks game flanked by the TBS game on the other two TVs.

– Otis Livingston’s twitter handle is O_smoov24.  That is pretty awesome. (Note: For the games on Sunday, Otis gave into corporate pressure and his Twitter handle was changed to OLivingston24)

– Lehigh is hanging with Duke early in their game.  No way they stay close for 40 minutes

– Jim$ shows up.  He is the best dressed person in this bar.  He is also among the oldest.  Dmo and Daryl are very drunk

– Jim$ came here to buy Ostrowe a tic tac, but he is not here.  He settles for receiving millions from Hutter

– Dmo is looking extra Dempseyish today

– Jim$ leaves.  If there was 13th Step stock, everyone would be selling right now.

– Dmo, Hutter, and Daryl pull a simultaneous Irish exit.  Poppers, Rick, Eddie O, and Trustey head back to Standings

– Ostrowe is back and already complaining about Standings.

– Lehigh still hanging around.  After they make a three, the entire bar cheers:
Duke Girl: Did all these people go to Lehigh? I didn’t realize they had so many fans?
Guy: No. Everyone just hates your team

– Lehigh wins! Missouri off the hook as most people will remember Duke losing and not care about them as much.

– Trustey tells Rick he can get him HSBC Premier membership while showing off pictures of his ankle trauma.  Somehow, Rick once again escapes without seeing a picture of Trustey penis.

– On the subway back uptown, Ostrowe and Rick find an unmailed letter.  After much debate, Ostrowe cites his civic duty as a mailman to make sure this letter gets mailed.  He picks up the envelope and carries it back to Rick’s apartment.  Despite passing multiple mailboxes, Ostrowe is dead set on using the mailslot on Rick’s floor.  Rick gets off the elevator on the the 13th floor so he can take a picture of the mail falling.  He misses the shot so Ostrowe drops a chinese food menu down the slot.


– The plan today is to head down to Molly’s for a St. Paddys celebration.  Syracuse is playing at 12:15 so Rick want’s to get there before then.  Of course, instead of getting ready, Rick and Ostrowe watch 5 episodes of the Simpsons

– Joyce is fidgety.  He is already texting Rick and Ostrowe.  It is 11:45

– Cab to Molly’s. Rick hates cabs.  When all is said and done, he will take way to many cabs on this day.

– When they get to 23rd st, Rick opens the door and it flies open into the van on the corner.  Ostrowe stands by in hysterics as the van owner yells at Rick for damaging her car.  Rick points out there are no marks.  She tells Rick he would not be happy if he owned a car.  Rick does not disagree.

– We’ve been here for 10 minutes already, but have not got any death stares yet.  Win?

– Rick is on the floor watching Cuse not paying attention to anything else. Running Diary on hold since Rick is not aware of anything else going on.

– Cuse wins. Life can resume.

– In a shocking turn of events Jmac can’t decide if he is coming or not.  He is currently in the land of Sunshine and Rainbows.  Eventually, he gets his head out of his ass and heads straight for Molly’s instead of going to the gym.

– Rick goes back to his college days and starts throwing paper airplanes out the window.  He has forgotten how much fun this was.

– The part moves to Royale as in “do you know what they call a quarter pounder with cheese in England? Royale with cheese”

– The girls head out to the back patio while Joyce posts up at a spot by the door and the TV.  What a gentleman

– Jim$, Jenn, Dmo, and Melissa show up to add to the gentlemanliness of the front corner.

– Rick may or may not have had a Tic Tac

– No East Village trip is complete without a stop at DOS.  As a non-drinker, Rick can’t stand this place.

– Greg is a dick

– Joyce leaves to get his stuff. Says he will be back. He won’t be

– Rick and Ostrowe go to Dorian Grey’s with John and LB to meet up with her friends

– Ostrowe pretends to have a phone call.  He smoothly walks out for a nice irish exit.  While Jmac is looking at his phone, Rick pretends to have a call as well and just walks out in not smooth fashion

– Rick and Ostrowe wind up at Mayahuel.  Some random unlabeled bar from a bad Stefon joke

– Among their random drinks, they have one called the Chester Copperpot.  Why a mexican restaurant would have a drink named after a character from the Goonies, I will never know. Ostrowe has to get it. It is terrible

– Prematurely call it a night while accomplishing nothing. Expectedly.



I have a new favorite college mascot. The Billiken. He is the mascot for St Louis University. And he is amazing. I know you are thinking: “What is a Billiken,” according to the internet, it is an mischievous elf-life creature that a St. Louis based Art Teacher once saw in a dream circa 1908. It is said that whoever buys a Billiken figurine has a great deal of good luck in his or her future….in other words, a Billiken is a perfect example of an early 20th century money making scam. But how can you get mad at this lovable scamp? Just look at this gallery from the two SLU games this weekend. (Note: Bonus .gif below)