Three Quarters of the way through the 2015 version of 87 Degrees of Duran Duran, I found myself three quarters of the way through the music video for Semi Charmed Life. In what could have been Exhibit H in the case proving that I really did get a concussion on Wednesday night, I found myself thinking: “I don’t think I have ever seen this music video before.” Being that I love SCL so much that we are on an acronym basis with each other, NC really didn’t think this could be possible. Regardless, why not take this opportunity to record my experience of watching SCL for the first time a second time.
0:00 – Ok. We are in space. Cue 90’s super zoom to American flag and random scooters
0:06 – Very cliche 90’s video with the whole band in a car together with a dog driving around San Francisco
0:20 – The scooters are going to be a big part of this. They look fully charmed so I don’t quite get it
0:25 – Stephan Jenkins (Lead Singer) sings with his hands a lot. Kind of like Rain Man
0:30 – If you we sitting at a cafe and some guys started singing at the top of his lungs, you would be concerned right?
0:45 – Generic shots of the band playing. I really hope this video picks up or this will be a waste of time
1:12 – Now we have scooter shots dueling with motorcycle shots
1:24 – For the best line in the song: “Doing crystal meth will lift you up until you break” the Jenkins covers his mouth and the video actually plays backwards
1:27 – Random half second shot of angry Asian chicks. They want some of that Crystal Meth
1:34 – “I took the hit that I was given and I bumped again and I bumped again” does not necessitate a hand over the mouth or a reverse play
1:40 – I don’t think I would like to be friends with anyone in this video. But teenage NC is Semi Jealous of Jenkins Charmed 90’s chinstrap beard
1:41 – Side Note: Chin Strap Beards are basically the equivalent of selecting your face in Excel and clicking the box outline button.
1:48 – Dip to black and we come back to Jenkins running through an alley. One can only assuming he can only be running from his demons. Methapors!
1:50 – Rapids cuts of Jenkins turning around and turning around
2:00 – Band fight. Meth. Not even once.
2:05 – Introspective singing
2:07 – Introspective pacing
2:08 – Introspective dramatic turn
2:12 – Introspective crouching against a wall
2:13 – And explode!
2:27 – Camera move straight into Jenkins. He sings into the camera which then pans to a profile shot. Then boom! Dramatic turn number 17 in the video. God that move deserves a VMA for cinematography
2:33 – In a departure from the norm, during the standard full band playing in a garage shot (never forget your roots) everyone is setup in a circle facing each other.
2:43 – “Face Down on the Mattress, one” leads to another dip to black and I find myself pissed of that Jenkins didn’t hold up one finger
2:45 – The scooters are back and they are now riding in a circle around Jenkins. The scooters = meth too?
2:47 – I wish Breaking Bad was around when this song was popular. The Synergies!
2:48 – Light Bulb. SCL inspired Breaking Bad but they had to move it to ABQ to make sure no one accused them of plagiarizing. It all makes sense now. (Ed. Note: I now present concussion proof Exhibit I)
2:53 – Introspective dramatic skyline walking!
3:30 – We now have people at the garage party.
3:47 – This garage meth party is out of control. Cue chicks making out with each other
3:53 – Random kid all alone on the couch watching the moon landing. He looks amazed. Almost this amazed.
3:57 – OOH back to the American flag from the beginning. This video is basically a haggard infinite loop. Mind blown
In conclusion. I should direct music videos. They make no sense. Easy money. Maybe this video is like a magic eye. If you stare at it long enough, and do meth at the same time, you’ll see a sailboat.