For the second straight year, Jurgen was gracious enough to host the Gentlemen for a Labor Day BBQ connected to the Maryland season opening game. For the second straight year, Ostrowe and Rick brought cheesesteaks into the equation. However, this year, they also added Jmac and his handsomeness

Saturday
8:00 It is the scheduled leaving time and neither Jmac or Ostrowe have made it to the Upper East Side. Ostrowe experienced some poisen ivy delays and Jmac experienced some sunshine and rainbows delays
8:15 Rick has spent at least 90 minutes looking for coolers in stores. Apparently they are no longer in season. He eventually gives up and buys one of those insulating bags that keep cold things cold and warm things warm
8:25 Ostrowe picks up Rick on the corner and they head crosstown to pick up Jmac on Central Park West
8:34 Jmac gets in the car. Cuppiness sets in
8:42 Ostrowe is full of rage on the roads on NYC
8:48 Odds are openly discussed. Jmac is falling in line with the rest of the pack
9:15 Jmac: It is so nice to actually like a girl
9:40 Ostrowe: Oh man, Melissa doesn’t live in Rockland anymore. I have to drop her off in Tarrytown. She doesn’t even live near the bridge
Rick: Yes she does.
Ostrowe: That’s like saying I live near the bridge
Rick: You do. The bridge starts in Tarrytown and goes to Nyack. By living in either of those towns you live near the bridge
10:00 Ostrowe once again has poisen ivy. The spray he keeps using smells awful
10:48 The cashier Pat’s King of Steaks calls us ‘sir’. Is this the twilight zone?
10:50 Pat’s Drink Guy: “Hey yo syracuse, what do you want?” That’s more like it
10:53 So God (See 2010 Labor Day Diary)
11:20 Rick passes out and wakes up as Ostrowe asks him a question. Says ‘no’ without knowing what the question was.
11:25 Rick is half lucid and talking in his sleep. While Jmac and Ostrowe are talking about Irene, Rick interjects “What Hurricane”

Sunday
12:02 Cuppy gas stop at rest area. Rick is still half asleep and can’t understand why Ostrowe can’t get his credit card to work
Ostrowe: Rick close my door so I can back up
/Rick closes door and stands behind the car
12:05 Rick goes into giggle fit and can’t tell his joke.
Rick: It would be funny if Ostrowe drank his Poison Ivy spray and poured the soda on himself
No one laughs
12:13 Traditional stop at Delaware rest area
12:20 Rick purchases an energy drink. Oh no.
12:24 Jmac: Imagine if Joyce was here
12:27 Upon leaving the stop, Rick points out that the rest stop lady also commented on his shirt. Turns out that she just liked commenting on shirts
To Ostrowe (In a golf shirt): Do you golf a lot?
To Jmac (In a shirt that says undercover): Oh undercover eh, I wish. I could come up with ideas like that then I wouldn’t be stuck working here.
To Rick: Going to syracuse?
12:32 Jmac uses Ostrowe’s blackberry. Tries to press the screen like he does on his iPhone. “Why is it not searching”
12:33 Since the cooler bag keeps hot things hot and cold things cold, what happens if Rick puts his Arnold Palmer in there with the cheese steaks? BWOOOOONNG
12:38 Rick: If we get to Maryland and those cheesesteaks are warm because of the cooler bag I’m not going to be able to not eat one
Ostrowe: We are in Maryland
Rick: If we get to Jurgen’s house and those cheesesteaks are warm because of the cooler bag I’m not going to be able to not eat one
12:51 Rick: Decoy Museum. Is it a real museum or just a decoy museum to keep people from the real one?
Ostrowe: It is a museum of only decoys
Jmac: Trojan Horse is the centerpiece
Rick: Do they have the Fake McCoy who was a decoy for the Real McCoy?
Ostrowe: Wouldn’t that just be the McCoy?
Jmac: My head hurts
Rick: Jmac, can I change your line to ‘My McHead hurts’ for the sake of the running diary
Jmac: No that is awful. I would never say that
12:59 In discussing Vegas and instigation, the consensus is that Jim$ is the biggest instigator followed closely by Dmo. If you were standing on the edge of a cliff, Jim$ would say, we should really jump off this cliff. Dmo would be there and would say “you two should really jump off the cliff.” Jim$ will pull you over the edge with him as Dmo gives the two of you a push
1:12 Rick: Oh man I forgot that I had snacks
Jmac: (busts out his mocking Rick impression) Look at me, my name is Rick, I have snacks
Rick: You forgot that part about how I don’t drink and feel great all the time. By the way, there is a 45% chance when I open these they fly everywhere
Ostrowe: Did you get a bag of those exploding snakes?
Rick: Whoppers. Best ever
Jmac: What an awful candy
Ostrowe: Agreed
Rick: Want one
Ostrowe: Might as well
Jmac: I also feel like I have to defend my statement
Ostrowe: Still awful. Tastes like a chocolate covered cotton ball
Jmac: I thought you said chocolate covered dodgeball
Ostrowe: Does that exist?
Jmac: What, chocolate covered cotton balls do exist?
Ostrowe: Would take a lot lest chocolate than a dodgeball
1:24 Rick: You should just invite a lot of people to blank blank then we can write down everything they say for the movie script
Ostrowe and Jmac: There is a movie script
Rick: Sorry the running diary is very dialogue heavy. I keep imagining it as a movie script
Ostrowe: This sounds like a horrible movie
Rick: it would be great if it was just a 2 hour movie of our drive down. One camera shoot in the back seat with no cuts
Jmac: And this exact conversation is part of the movie.
Ostrowe: The camera never leaving the car would make people think the movie is metaphor for how we are trapped in our current state. When really we are just a couple of guys driving in the car
Jmac: Dicks in a car
Ostrowe: Great movie title. Three Dicks in a Car
1:33 Note: To appropriately experience the long dialogues, you should read them in a fit of laughter.
1:40 For the fifth straight year, it has just been stated we are going to the derby
1:44 While discussing the Birth of Mar
Ostrowe: It is great that that is how Mar got his nickname
Rick: You tell that story to anyone, they laugh. Great story
Ostrowe: That’s the same night BP and I got into a fight with those girls and they smashed a bottle of tomato sauce on Jurgen’s door.
Jmac: Smashed a bottle of tomato sauce? That’s messed up. Do they now how hard that was to make?
2:01 Tired Rick isn’t afraid to admit he like the name of the Kiss and Ride.
2:10 Arrive at Casa del Jurgen. He has woken up to greet us. What a gentleman
2:31 Jmac emails the chain: “I’m giddy with excitement for tomorrow. Or maybe I’m just still feeling the effects of sunshine and rainbows”
2:44 Like 12 year olds, Ostrowe, Rick and Jmac can’t fall asleep and have a group text chat going from 3 different rooms
9:23 Not the event
10:10 Jmac likes Jurgen’s clock. Great centerpiece. Despite the fact it is 4 minutes fast, he trusts it completely
10:45 Ostrowe is going thru every NFL game to predict the season standings to keep himself from not thinking about poison ivy
11:07 Zoosk commercial
Ostrowe: Who thinks like that. That is why you are single, that self-defeatist attitude
11:09 Rick: Hi I’m Dave Holmes you may remember me as the fat guy who has been next to hot chicks hosting random shows.
Ostrowe: And you know what, it was a different chick every time
Rick: Somehow, you still remember my name
11:11 While watching the DVD on TV version of Role Models, Dave Holmes has a fake sword fight with RHC who is wearing a skimpy dress
Jmac: Why is she wearing that?
Ostrowe: Yea she shouldn’t wear that if she is going to throw herself on the couch
Jmac: No why is she wearing clothes
Jurgen: Ostrowe did you shave your chest hair into a heart again?
Ostrowe: Not this year?
Jurgen: I saw the American flag, then I thought of your shirt from last year, then I remembered your badminton game with Goon
11:31 Ostrowe: I’m getting in the shower.
Jmac: Bagel dog?
Ostrowe: What?
11:51 DVD on TV. We take 95 minute movie and make it 3 hours long. Our secret is to give you a one minute teaser of a special feature before the break then after the commercial, show you the full one minute 20 second feature. Then go to another commercial break
12:09 Dmo and Mel show up. Dmo immediately comments on the wonderful clock centerpiece
12:27 Ostrowe has his first beer. Last year he started at 7:00A
12:29 Ostrowe goes for his first second cheesesteak. The warm cooler bag is in the fridge and is very confused trying keep the cheesesteaks warm in a cold environment
12:39 Melissa is talking about working in Brooklyn. Ostrowe and Rick are making hipster joke after hipster joke and every one has gone over her head
1:05 The O’Neill’s arrive
1:13 Ostrowe just finished week 3 of his preview, but give up now that people are here
1:18 Apps on the table courtesy of Peg
Jmac: Wow. You really should have won the GWotY last year
Peg: Yea. I should have
Ostrowe: Wow. You are bitter
Peg: Well yea, I’ll never win if every girl that Jmac bangs wins every year
Jmac: You’ll win this year
Ostrowe: Make sure Eddie O disappears for a while
1:27 Pricilla brings up the clock and everyone talks about how much they like it
Jmac: We should count how many people like the clock
Rick: I have been counting but I didn’t say anything so they come naturally
Jmac: That’s what she says
1:45 Jmac has red pepper dip on a red pepper. Dipception
1:50 According to Jmac most shorts are cargo shorts. However, most the shorts at this party are not cargo shorts
1:54 Now that more people are here, things are getting more schticky and inside jokey. From Pants under pants to Parsippany to Chair pulled out from under Lindsay to formal flair chop to what the hell is this?! in about a minute
2:23 (Ed. Note: I just had a time here. I don’t know what I was going to write for this post)
2:36 Melissa: Ostrowe, what is the was?
2:53 While walking behind the strip mall:
Rick: I thought there was going to be an opening he…oh there is
Ostrowe: yea me too..oh there is
Jmac: Oh, there is an opening here
3:19 While talking about our Grizley Pear karaoke trip, Ostrowe says that someone was booing Jmac mercilessly. We watch the video and Ostrowe realizes he was the one booing
3:25 Samson and Amos!
3:47 Knute: I remember you from tailgates
Jmac: Probably not
4:10 BP shows up and wakes up Ostrowe from a 15 minute nap
4:45 Melissa: To be honest Doug actually works 3 hours a day.
Rick: Wow. I thought you were going to defend him for a second and say he actually did work
5:57 Peg: My bill was $8
Jurgen: That’s because you were letting the college boys hit on you
Jim$: She was saving her husband money
8:32 Rick walks outside to play Beer Pong and in the interim, Jmac got very hammered. Turns out shots of Makers Mark bring out the best in him. Everyone mocks Eddie O for agreeing to be his partner since he has to drink double
9:06 Jim$: I would like the running diary to reflect that if I wanted to grow a beard like Sav, it would take me 18 months
9:24 Dmo steals Ostrowe’s seat. Ostrowe sits on his lap
9:25 Dmo just gave Melissa the ok to throw out old and ratty clothes when she does his laundry
9:34 Jim$ has ruined the browser history on Rick’s iPad. He apologizes to Jenn and confesses he clears the browser history every day
9:39 A Nibbles chant is started. Jim$ really wants to get him
9:43 The Crock Pot has boiled over
9:51 Jurgen: Bah my house is retarded
10:06 How’s sentimental Jmac
10:08 Dmo leans over to Jenn and says “your husband bet $500 on the team that is losing”
10:17 Melissa (to Pricilla): You should give Jurgen a raise so he can buy you something nice
10:38 Evil Peg Laugh during the Dr. Phil interview of Jmac on Eddie O’s lap. It looks like Jmac is a creepy boat driver in Venice hitting on Peg while she is on a romantic vacation with her husband.
10:40 Jim$ is making tic tacs. Worst. Idea. Ever.
11:01 After the success of Puppet Daryl, Jim$ makes Puppet Peg and grabs Eddie O’s head. Jim$ then forces their heads together
11:13 Jim$ starts a Hutter Sucks chant
11:15 Pricilla learns of Mullets over Miami.
Peg: Dmo filmed it.
Dmo: And you know who else was there. Jurgen
Melissa: Didn’t someone get a blank blank
Dmo: YEA IT WAS JURGEN
Everyone: That’s not what happened at all
11:20 Jim$ pulls out his inflatable air mattress. When it is full, Dmo hops on and Jim$ lays down next to him. Next Jmac hops in followed by Rick and Eddie O.  Jenn, Peg, and Melissa look concerned.
11:55 Everyone is getting ready for bed and Paul and Samson are still bumping tunes. Jurgen just made them cheesesteaks
11:57 Peg is rocking Jmac to bed as Eddie O reads them a bedtime story
11:59 Samson invites Jmac to the club. Jmac accepts for a second. Then collapses

Monday
12:01 Jim$ run upstairs to steal Jurgen’s fan and Jmac says he’ll save his spot in bed with Jenn. All he needs is to hop in bed with Melissa and he has the triple crown
12:03 Jmac says he should have never let Rick meet SR because he is a jerk
12:05 Jmac hops in with Melissa and Doug. Trifecta complete
12:12 Jmac: I need water
Jurgen: Water is a bad choice. It makes you more sober
12:18 Jim$: it is so hot down here. Heat f***ing falls Jurgen
Jmac: Jim$ your wife is hotter than the temperature
12:20 Jim$ insists on cuddling with the fan
12:24 Jim$, Jmac, and Rick sing I want it that way for the house
12:29 For the second night in a row, Rick can’t sleep, but drunk gents mean no texting
12:44 Still up.
8:15 Rick hovers over Peg as she makes her famous French Toast Casserole
Rick: So what is the recipe here?
Peg: I don’t know. I just make it up
Rick: How long do you bake it in the oven?
Peg: I don’t know
Rick: How am I supposed to make this for myself?
8:38 Peg once again assigns Eddie O to supervise clean up after she bakes
9:30 FTC FTW
10:01 Peg: Get Jmac a coffee because he died
12:03 No updates since we have been watching Degrassi for 3 hours while alternating showers
12:25 Eddie O is wearing O’Neill shorts. If anyone takes them, he can prove they are his
1:09 Ostrowe texts Rick to see if he wants to go to the tailgate. Rick says no.
Ostrowe: Irish Exit?
Rick: Yes. We’ll just turn north on 95 when everyone doesn’t
Ostrowe: How do we get Melissa in the car with us?
Rick: Tell her we are going to the tailgate?
Ostrowe (To Melissa): Is your bag here? You should put it in the car? Are you riding with us?
Melissa: Yes and yes
Rick (to Ostrowe): Victory!
1:30 The gang leaves for the tailgate.
1:45 Ostrowe and Rick execute the Irish Exit to perfection. We are heading towards 95 on the beltway. Melissa and Jmac haven’t noticed yet
1:48 Melissa:  One thing about MT, this is going to sound really bad, so I’m not going to say it but now I have to because I said this, but she has Tourettes
1:51 Rick and Ostrowe set the o/u on Melissa figuring out there will be no tailgate at 2:02
1:53 Jmac: I officially don’t want a cheesesteak for a long time
2:03 Over wins
2:07 Rick realizes that Ostrowe’s AC sucks because his vent wasn’t open.
2:10 Jmac realizes a plot is afoot and texts Rick
2:15 Jmac openly talking about not going to the tailgate and Melissa still hasn’t said anything
2:19 Rick and Ostrowe start a discussion about how they have great imaginations. Ostrowe says he wishes he could major in imagination. Rick proclaims that he has been trying to imagine ways to get rich quick and be creative. He thinks coloring type book that works kids’ imaginations could be a hit. Melissa agrees. Ostrowe is brought on to co-write
2:25 After creative differences, Ostrowe is removed from the project.  Melissa claims she will find someone else to write the book if Rick is not serious. He assures her he will create one page a day for the next 5 months.
2:30 Rick and Melissa continue to bicker about the book.
2:35 Rick finds cookies. No one likes them since they are S Cookies.  Rick says that he loves them for that reason
2:49 Melissa says: “I never realized College Park was so far away” As we pull into the rest stop Rick can barely keep a straight face and walks away to keep from passing out. Jmac and Ostrowe use this opportunity to put all the blame on Rick
2:53 Rick reveals that he was purposely egging Melissa on about the book so that she wouldn’t realize we weren’t going to the tailgate. He affirms that he is serious about the book
2:56 A guy points to the big out of order sign on the Yogurt at Freshens and asks if they have yogurt
3:05 Ostrowe: No one wanted to be the asshole to say we weren’t going to the tailgate so instead we were the three assholes who just pulled the irish exit and kidnapped melissa in the process
4:15 Rick passes out (surprisingly before Melissa) and everyone takes a picture
4:50 Ostrowe gets a Roy Rogers chicken sandwich. Rick and Jmac tell him those things are awful
5:08 Ostrowe: I wish I had another chicken sandwich
Melissa: You actually liked it
Rick: Never underestimate the power of CoG members wanting to disprove other member
6:08 Ostrowe drops Rick and Jmac off in the city.  The game doesn’t start for another 2 hours. Had we gone to the tailgate, we would have been leaving now.  Thank god we left.

Getting back to the F###ing basics

SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 4
7:12 Rick gets off the bus in Nyack 13 hours before the scheduled departure time of 8:00 AM. He and Ostrowe are heading to Maryland for a BBQ at the Casa de Jurgen on Sunday followed by the Maryland-Navy game on Monday. But first thing is first. Dinner at Posa. Rick is stoked.
7:30 Rick hasn’t had Posa since moving to the city. It is so good it gives him a “brain idea.” Leave Rockland ASAP. Drive through Phily. Stop at Pat’s. Eat Cheesesteaks. Continue driving until we get tired. If we need to get a hotel, so be it. It will break up the trip nicely, plus we get cheesesteaks. Everyone wins!
7:31 Ostrowe immediately accepts the idea and they head out to run some errands before leaving. Rick finishes his second slice on the run. Estimated departure time: 9:30
7:35 Rick tries to convince Dmo and Mar to meet us there. Dmo is in AC winning millons with Hutter, Mar in LBI banging slimmies. Neither one is any shape to drive to Philly.
7:37 Stop at Pathmark to get a cooler. Rick has a second “Brain Idea.” Insists on getting M&M Pretzel and M&M Peanut Butter and eating them together. Pathmark is lacking in the M&M department despite having giant signs on each register promoting the pretzel incarnation
8:00 Stop by Ostrowe’s Mom’s house to move a recliner (attempt #2)
8:30 Recliner moved to Nyack. Ostrowe packs. He fills his overnight bag and realizes he doesn’t have enough room. He puts the packed overnight bag as is into a larger bag. So meta
9:03 Leaving 27 minutes before estimated time. (Ed. Note: This is what we needed. We need some spice in our life. We don’t do thing like this anymore. Is it because we are adults, or is it beacuse we got smarter?)
9:06 Ostrowe can’t wait until the bottles of Bud Light Lime in the trunk break and his clothes get soaked
9:11 Ostrowe: I don’t even know if I need energy drink. I’m adrenalized. I’ve got fucking amenergy”
9:22 Stop at the Montvale Service station for Ostrowe gets a 5 Hour Energy. Rick goes with a Monster, and M&Ms Pretzels & M&M Peanut Butter. Success!
9:25 Rick tries to mix the M&Ms in the little bags. They go everywhere. He finds a Shop Rite bag in the back seat and mixes the M&Ms in the bag. His mixture is just as dreamy as he dreamed in the dream he dreamed at 7:37
9:26 Things are officially cuppy
9:30 So God, (Ed. Note: I assume I was commenting that the M&Ms were so good, but I kinda like how it looks like I was writing a letter to God but got stuck after the opening. What do you say to God anyway?)
9:35 Rick cracks open the Monster. (Foreshadowing!)
9:38 Ostrowe texting while driving next to a state trooper. Still not as bad of an idea as this trip.
9:41 Rick almost does a bird call. Maybe he didn’t need the energy drink. My teeth hurt (Ed. Note: Wow it only took 6 minutes for that caffeine to hit me. I also like the multiple tenses used. Also, please note that after not seeing Joyce for 2 months, I started to become him. No homo)
9:49 “Baby I Like It” comes on. Business picks up. This will be the first of many times this song plays
9:54 (Unfiltered thoughts put on paper ahead) People should hire us to DJ their shit. We are awesome
9:56 Your Love is My Drug is about bearded mar
9:59 Ostrowe downs 5 hour energy. Wheeeeeeeeee. He proceeds to throw it in the backseat ala Stone Cold
10:00 (More of Rick’s Inner Monologue) I’m having trouble spelling ostrowe. And I also decided to switch to first person. Halucinating heart attack
10:09 Who would win in a battle of the bands. Infant Sorrow or Sex Bob-omb
10:13 Text from Rick to a coworker: I’m hopped up on goofballs. Goofballs = Monster Energy + M&Ms Pretzel and PB combined
10:21 (Rick’s Inner Monologue) Le France soy ugly. What? I’ve got the shakes
10:23 (Rick’s Inner Monologue) This is why I don’t drink. I can’t even control myself on Monster
10:37 Fond memories of the sandal suite are shared. Burping is not delicious
10:38 Ostrowe is a pizza sprinter. Rick is a pizza marathoner
10:45 Almost 2 hours into our journey and Rick still feels like this is a great idea. Ostrowe is confident we will make it to Rockville. They only hope someone is awake
10:46 It feels great to be back in running diary mode
10:54 Both Rick and Ostrowe need to destroy toilets. Damn the Walt Whitman station for being just beyond the exit for Philly. What are the odds? This car is going to stink
10:56 Rick thinks they should stop at a hotel just to use the toilet in the lobby
11:12 The car can taste Pats!
11:20 Drive by: “Tham Mi Vein Spa” That loosely translates to “Happy Ending”
11:23 PATS!
11:30 Buy $80 worth of cheesesteaks. Rick and Ostrowe each buy 4. The Philly asshole behind the counter is not happy. They don’t even bother to help us with to-go bags (Ed. Note: It’s not we were the last guys in line. And it’s not they they specially make each cheesesteak.)
11:40 Back on the road with cheesesteaks in our guts. Ostrowe is reenergized and proclaims we will be making it to Rockville, MD
11:48 Is there a nice part of Philly. No. Ostrowe’s GPS sucks. It may have been made by rapists
11:54 Passing the John Heinz refuge park or something of the sort. He invented the ketchup bottle
11:57 Can’t wait for no one in Rockville to be awake. We are going to have to sleep in the car
11:58 The gum does nothing. NOTHING. There’s cheesesteak everywhere. It’s in my raccoon wounds

SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 5
12:00 Happy Sunday
12:08 Fireworks. If we were to buy them and put them in the truck with the cheesesteaks the fuses would be lit by the steaks fumes
12:12 Looking forward to the new and improved Delaware rest stop. They are going to need to close it again when we are done
12:22 Double the amount of time in Delaware. Crashing hard. 2 miles to rest stop
12:29 Delaware rest big improvement over the old one. Although, being that the old one had a total score of Negative 29, it wasn’t hard to top
12:33 No cell service in the Delaware rest area. After leaving the bathroom Rick gets a water and a Wild Cherry Pepsi
12:37 Ostrowe is died in the bathroom.
12:38 Reason 3546 Why Delaware Sucks: They are playing Gray’s Anatomy on the TVs at the rest stop
12:51 Philly has no redeeming qualities. Kinda like Delaware
12:52 Rise Against is loaded into the CD player. Business picks up
1:04 The Late M&M Mystery Bag
1:06 My burps are awful. Monster + M&Ms Pretzel + Cheesesteak + M&Ms Peanut Butter + Wild Cherry Pepsi
1:10 Hope someone waits up for us. Sleeping in the car would be a disaster. Cheesesteak flatulence mixed with cheesesteaks
1:17 Much debate about where we are staying. Jim$ and Jenn staying at Jenn’s parents place which is about 25 minutes closer than Jurgen’s. Jim$ claims he will stay up for cheesesteak. Jurgen says the same thing. Poppers and the O’Neill’s are still at the bar
1:21 Bel Air and Edgewood are the same exit off of 95. Could be Ostrowe new favorite exit in the world. It’s a sign.
1:23 I don’t remember the last time I had this much caffeine in m veins. I can’t see straight
1:25 (Rick’s Inner Monologue) Ostrowe likes eating pizza in a bowl
1:26 (Flight of the Conchords) “If had known you weren’t gay I would have spent a lot less time with Jermaine”
1:27 (More FotC) “I sometimes grow a beard”
“It looks glued on”
“Yea some times I glue it on”
1:30 Ostrowe: “It’s fucking 1:30. What the hell were we thinking”
Rick: “I’m at the Jersey Shore bitch”
Ostrowe: “I’m at the Jersey Shore bitch”
1:43 Two guys signing along to slow Rise Against songs in a car at 1:43 in the morning while both are drinking Wild Cherry Pepsi is pretty gay. We should make this a commercial.
1:50 Passing Glen Bernie/Annapolis. Hey Joyce, Bernie said your Bean Dip sucked
1:53 Passing Ellicott City. If we were staying with Jim$ and Jenn we’d be there by now
2:01 GTL Bitches. Beat that beat up
2:03 Ok. Two guys signing and fist pumping to Jason Derulo may be gayer
2:08 495 Bitches. The homestretch
2:21 How’s Korean Korner?
2:22 Don’t piss off Ostrowe after he’s been driving for 5 hrs. He is an angry driver
2:23 Recent updates are lacking. I can’t even….words
2:32 CASA DE JURGEN! Ostrowe opens the trunk and is knocked over the the stench of cheesesteaks. It stings the nostrils
2:38 The kitchen smells like cheesesteak already and they are in the fridge in a drawer
2:58 The Poppers Mansion tour is gentlemanly. He turns on the living room light and Goon and Jurgen are out cold. They don’t even flinch. Rick passes out in the office suite
6:39 Rick wakes up from cheesesteak shizing dreams…no wait…nightmares
6:40 Jurgen finds Ostrowe in his bed and Rick on the floor of the office. Asks why they didn’t share the bed
6:41 Rick looks at clock and hopes it is not really 6:41
7:21 Rick wakes up confused again after a long dream about waking up
7:30 Rick wishes he could nap on the toilet
7:31 The Rick’s tenses are all fucked up. I need to sleep
7:35 (Rick’s Inner Monologue)In a related story I feel like death
7:47 Ostrowe: “Prelude to a massive schize sounds like a work by Edgar Allen Poe”
7:49 (Rick’s Inner Monologue) I think I have a caffeine hangover. I am pathetic. I also need to stop whining
7:53 (Rick’s Inner Monologue) Drinking water while laying down is amazing. Thanks peristalsis.
7:59 (Rick’s Inner Monologue) My flatulence might drive me out of couch cushions
8:11 I throw my hands up in the air sometimes singing eh-oh
8:35 Jurgen “I need to get an Eddie O. He does dishes on demand. I heard Peg say something about dishes, and now they are done. Eddie O is domesticated”
8:42 Peg’s French Toast Casserole made coming last night worth it. What a great idea to complement this amazing breakfast
8:52 Goon’s Pick-Up Line “How much does a Polar Bear weigh? Enough to break the ice. Hi I’m John”
9:03 Peg: What’s wrong with her, she doesn’t She doesn’t look bad…..oh
9:10 Peg says Cole is a good dog, he growls at her
9:24 Peg: “I want to be in one of your videos Rick….with Jmac” (Eddie O Double Takes)
9:24 Ostrowe: Jared Leto is a good actor (Eddie O laughs)
9:46 9:00P is the O/U for Goon’s GotY nomination
9:50 Ostrowe is fidgety
10:06 Cole is disrespecting Goon’s clothes
10:19 Goon does the Terry Dance
10:23 Ostrowe is wearing the most American shirt of all time. Americans flags over the Declaration of Independence
10:35 Lot of couch sitting. Rick is DJing. Goon demands Poison (meaning the band), Rick plays Bell Biv Devoe. Goon then demands Conway Twitty
10:45 Peg calls us Neanderthals and tells Ostrowe to take out the trash
11:01 Rick takes a pic in the kitchen. Eddie O is yelled at for almost burning the place down. Rick explains that it was just the flash
11:02 Ostrowe punching out to Baby I Like It
11:48 Alexa Ray Joel comes on. Goon gets excited thinking Faith is on. Her Google image page is horrifying
11:52 Watching Ghostbusters. Everyone agrees that Sigourney Weaver was asking for chair rape. She took her pants off and sat on the chair. Goon “The chair is only human”
12:20 Peg chops up the chesesteak and serves us sliders. Rick and Ostrowe don’t want to look at them. Ostrowe grabs one anyway. Peg is helping out her GWotY ballot
12:56 Peg “Jim$ is so rich”
1:20 Chair rape debate Part 2. If you could chair rape anyone who would you chair rape. Ostrowe: “Do you think they warned her about the possibility of chair rape when she bought the chair”
1:43 Airheads wins Netflix instant stream battle
2:05 Joe Mantegna looks like half a butt puppet
2:35 Jurgen has never seen Airheads
2:50 There is a baby at our party. We are old
3:04 Jim$ and Jenn arrive. The gang is all here
3:23 BP just showed up out of nowhere. “I came in the back door” That is his MO. He comes in the back door
4:30 Badminton and Cornhole setup. Jurgen is a great host
5:56 The badminon match of the century. The Power Couple (PC) of Jenn and Jim$ vs. The Moderately Awesome Couple (MAC) of Peg & Eddie O. The PC wins
Note: I have no clue what times the following things occurred.
Jim$ does his best Rafiki imitation and holds a baby over his head
Crasher Jim$
Running diary dies
Escapar, Baby I Like It, & Pauly D played 40 times
Goon: “I’m gonna put this whole town in my rearview”
Everyone in attendance had the Jill Kelly/Jenna Jameson lesbian porn scene (SFW Pic) on their computer at one point. The two of them started out eating dinner at a fancy restaurant then took things to the bathroom
Peg does NOT like public bathroom porn.
Ostrowe says he hasn’t seen professional porn since High School. Jim$ calls bullshit
Ostrowe’s go to scene is FTA
Ostrowe proclaims that Summer Girls is an even worse song than Notice Me. Everyone disagrees
Goon is couch raped by Jim$
Jurgen’s friends come over and we try to fit in with them. When Rick asks if there are any music requests, Ostrowe asks for the Humpty Dance. Poppers then puts on Chappelle’s Show
Jurgen’s friends leave
Jim$ feeds Ostrowe Ron Ron Juice. It spills everywhere but Ostrowe does an amazing job of not dripping on the flag
11:40 Put on animal house for Jim$ and Jenn
11:45 Jim$ and Jenn leave
11:50 Switch to anchorman. Back to the basics

MONDAY SEPTEMBER 6
12:10 Everyone passes out
9:00 Restart anchorman
9:53 Hype machine working for Ostrowe’s shize behind the double doors.
9:54 Ostrowe comes out: “That shize was not the event”
10:35 Ostrowe doesn’t really beat up the beat, he stirs the beat. Maybe more of a puree
10:50 Leave for the game
11:10 Eddie O and Peg are not adept at posing for the paparazzi yet. Jim$ and Jenn are pros. That is why they are the Power Couple.
11:41 Amazing how Class of 2012 Naval officers seem infinitely older than us. If we went to the Naval Academy life how different would our life be? Completely Opposite right?
11:45 Peg is the food MVP of the weekend. French Toast Cassarole. Cheesesteak sliders
11:46 Is that James Franco?
12:07 Peg does not recommend pants shizing on the first date
12:08 Peg and Lauren are tired of being the only girls of Nubbinsville so they are just going to make their own
12:15 Peg makes us play erotic photo hunt. Version 2.0 is 10x better than the Fitzy’s version
12:18 Rick: “At least they (the naval officers) are white and not black…the uniforms I mean“
Ostrowe: “That was the most racist thing said all weekend”
12:20 Is that Tom Cruise?
12:38 Jason is methodical. Goon pops Poppers in the face with the flag
12:40 Little O is a gent. You can equate everyone is his crew to a person in Nubbinsville
12:58 Jason sells his tickets to Antoine Dodson
1:02 Dunn has Tuberculosis. Literally
1:10 Is that James Franco?
1:15 The dynamic shifts (Ed. Note: I think this is when Heather showed up. But I don’t know why it changed)
1:21 Dmo! And Hutter!
3:17 2 hours of things happened
3:28 Hutter: “I was menstruating out of my mouth”
3:45 Gentlemen split up
3:47 Eddie O and Peg beat Jim$ and Jenn in a paparazzi off.
3:52 How’s Johnny Unitas
4:00 Poppers, Rick, & BP do a full lap around the stadium. Didn’t find the ticket window
4:55 Is that James Franco?
5:05 Hutter lost his shoe
5:18 Hutter lost his shoe
5:21 Terp Fans boo Navy. Bad form. You can’t boo The Navy
5:35 Hutter asks old lady “Do you know what that is?” Refering to the police tracking bracelet around some guys ankle.
6:36 O/U on time arriving home: 1:30A
7:00 James Franco & Tom Cruise lose.
7:27 Peg: “OMG Eddie O we should have twins. Look how much fun they are having”
Eddie O: “Yeah” (Keeps walking)
7:30 Plebe Jurgen
7:38 Saw a Naval cadet roll his ankle. First time I ever saw a Naval cadet do something imperfect
Peg: He’s going to get kicked out of school
8:29 Freshens might be one of my top 3 favorite eateries in the world
8:56 Peg: Cheese Whiz has its place in the world and that is on a cheesesteak
9:08 Txt from Ostrowe: “Its great that out of all the places the event schize could have come out, it chose to wait till I got to Heather’s apartment. Picciniched”
10:29 Peg wakes up. For a second.
11:15 Home! (Under Wins)