My imagination can be dangerous sometimes. I’m able to come up these best case scenarios almost instantaneously for the most random of daily occurrences. I could be in the supermarket looking at the same type of yogurt as a good looking girl and the next second I am imagining out first date, which goes swimmingly because since we like the same type of yogurt, that means we like ALL the same things, then we move in together, we get married and we have 2.5 kids with a nice house in the burbs. The third second is spent realizing I am alone and the store is about to close, but that is besides the point. Or maybe when I take a awesome picture in Central Park and picturing myself reviewing the picture at the same time as the photo editor for New York Magazine unknowingly walks behind me and catches a glimpse of the shot out of the corner of his eye and offers me a job on the spot which leads to me becoming a famous photographer and hanging out with Aziz Ansari and Nikki Whelan
99% my best case scenario is never going to happen, but the 1% chance that it could happen is just enough to make it alright dealing with disappointment all those other times.
This afternoon, I came across one of those 1% moments.
I swung by Duane Reade to pick up some things and was greeted by a huge line waiting to check out. 9 times out of 10 I would just abandon ship and come back another time. Dumb I know, but what do you expect? It was at that time I noticed a good looking girl standing at the end of the line. I immediately took my place right behind her. While shuffling through the elaborate maze I almost thought of a good ice breaker line, but the best I came up with was “Lay’s potato chips eh?” Five minutes later she paid and after a half second of eye contact, she was gone forever. Or was she. In my head I was already resigned to hit up the supermarket afterwards unless for some reason she lived in my building two blocks away. I made a right out of Duane Reade and saw her half a block ahead of me. As she hit Dag Hammarskjold, she changed course by about 15 degrees making a beeline for my building. I abandoned the supermarket idea and lengthened my strides. I made it to the lobby a few seconds behind her and made sure to greet Julio the doorman rather loudly so that she wouldn’t think I was a stalker creep. [Ed. Note: If she ever reads this paragraph, like you right now, she will no doubt think I am a stalker creep. (Ed. Note Ed. Note: I’m not a stalker creep. I swear) /Ed. Noteception] Getting in the elevator, the simultaneous head nod acknowledged we both knew we were just in Duane Reade together, then this exchange happened.
(Rick notices NBC Universal badge sticking out of her wallet)
Rick: Hey! You work at NBC?
GLG: (Creeped Out) Yea.
Rick: Oh I work in sports there
GLG: (No longer creeped out) Oh I work for MSNBC. Are you in sales?
Rick: Nah, programming. You?
GLG: Sales. We actually work on the same floor as the sports sales guys
Rick: Oh, you are over in McGraw Hill now. When did you move over there?
GLG: About two months ago or so. Are you still in 30 Rock?
Rick: Yea. For now, but we are moving to Stamford
GLG: Oh, are you going to move up there?
Rick: Hahah, no. That would be dumb.
As she got off the elevator I got her name and immediately looked up her work email address on my blackberry then made the smart move of not emailing her right away. Can’t believe that just happened. Everything is coming up Milhouse. Stay tuned
(Ridiculous Next Day Update: Got an email from Mar on Monday morning. Apparently GLG is roommate with his girlfriend who used to be my neighbor when I lived in Rockland. I should probably take this post down.)
(“Ridiculous Next Day Update” Update: Mar is a dick. That was his April Fools joke. And that was awesome. Not too many years when I get fooled good twice)