Pre-Final Four Fidgetiness



Syracuse plays at 9:00P tonight.  Iam beyond antsy.  Wanted to go for a bike ride to calm my nerves, but the eye doctor dilated my pupils so I still can’t see anything.  Luckily, Rookie of the Year is on TV.  Sadly, I turned it on 5 seconds after the doctor says Funky Buttloving.  Can’t win them all.

The best running joke of the movie is Martinella can’t get Henry’s name right all movie.  That got me to thinking: Can SIRI do any better?  Here are her attempts

Rolling Gardner


Ruined our night


Going to look


Glow in the Dark

Rolling Doughnut


Roland Gardner

Ron Gardner

And finally.  Success!

Rowan Gardner.

Brunch or Lunch?


These are the types of conversations we have in real life all the time, but since this one was via text, we are able to save it for all posterity.

Rick: Joyce and Molly are going to brunch at 2:30 then going to DOS. We can meet them there and regroup

Ostrowe: At 2:30, its just lunch, but that’s a good plan

Rick:  But breakfast is still available

Ostrowe:  I think your just eating breakfast food for lunch at that point.  I’m gonna put the cutoff for brunch at 130. If you haven’t started eating by then, its lunch

Rick:  I would argue that the menu is what makes it brunch, not the time.  But once you ask for french toast at Slainte at 5:00P that just means you have issues

Ostrowe:  It can’t be the menu. IHOP serves breakfast 24/7. If I go there at 3am its not for brunch

Rick: IHOP is an outlier.  They don’t have distinctive menus. They let you eat whatever you want at anytime.

Ostrowe:  You can “have” brunch past 1:30. But you can’t go to brunch. You’re having brunch food for lunch. But you’re just going to lunch.

Rick:  So long as the brunch menu is available to order from you can truthfully say you are having brunch.

Ostrowe:  Yes. You can “have” brunch at any time. But you can’t go to brunch whenever you please.  If I wake up at 6pm and get a bagel, that doesn’t make it breakfast.  Its an entirely semantic argument. But those are my specialty.

Rick:  Is breakfast dictated by the time you eat it, or by its position in your day in relation to when you awake from sleep.  Breakfast is your first meal of the day in which you break the fast you had while you were sleeping.  If you go to bed at 4:00A and wake up at 6:00P I would argue that your bagel at 6:00P was breakfast for you that day

Ostrowe:  Both. Which I think is the crux of the issue. If I wake up at 6pm and have a delicious steak omelet, its my breakfast, but if I were going to a restaurant with others to get it, it would be dinner.  I wouldn’t say “I’m going to breakfast.”

Rick:  I feel like in that situation a lot of people would call it breakfast just so that people like us would question their statement then they would be able to go into the story of how they are so cool because they stayed out till 4A. What a great life they live. I should worship them

Ostrowe:  Yes but that situation would just result on me calling them out on their phrasing and refusing to let up until they concede.  Brunch is even more complex since its not a real meal

Rick:  If brunch is not a real meal does that mean a Liger is not a real animal, and a spork is not a utensil, and spanglish is not a language and muppets don’t exist and I can’t have sexcapades. I don’t want to live in that world.  It is a travesty and a sham and a mockery.  A travishamockery

Ostrowe:  Let’s say someone was born on Christmas and they were going out for drinks with a large group of people. While they might say, “I’m going out for my birthday,” the rest would say they were going out for Christmas. Both would technically be right, but ultimately Christmas would be the answer.  So birthday = brunch and Christmas = lunch.  What’s brunch to you is lunch to everyone else

Rick:  Depends on the sample size. Of all the people in NYC that are going out to eat before 4P today, I’d say 75% of them would say they were going to get brunch.  But that is because NYC residents are conditioned to brunch.

Ostrowe:  That is a very bold statement

Rick:  If you extend your sample size to the rest of the country, I think it would be 60-40 lunch to brunch

Ostrowe:  I feel like 75% is way too high a number

Rick:  I can’t wait to ask everyone at DOS if they went out to eat between 12 and 4 and what meal did they have

Ostrowe:  Science!

Rick: This is so New York.

Ostrowe:  In conclusion, just because it looks like breakfast, and tastes like breakfast, that doesn’t make it brunch


With Joyce down at #SIC, the three remaining horsemen were left to their own devices for Memorial Day weekend.  It only took a few minutes to fall back into our schtick.  While eating in the East Village, Jmac and Ostrowe posed for a picture while Ostrowe was distracted by the waitress.

Sadly, Rick had no one to pose with

But thanks to the magic of Photoshop, that can be fixed

 Rick & Joyce

Rick & #SIC12

Rick & Kate Beckinsale

Rick & Rick Astley

Rick & Barry Windham


I have a new favorite college mascot. The Billiken. He is the mascot for St Louis University. And he is amazing. I know you are thinking: “What is a Billiken,” according to the internet, it is an mischievous elf-life creature that a St. Louis based Art Teacher once saw in a dream circa 1908. It is said that whoever buys a Billiken figurine has a great deal of good luck in his or her future….in other words, a Billiken is a perfect example of an early 20th century money making scam. But how can you get mad at this lovable scamp? Just look at this gallery from the two SLU games this weekend. (Note: Bonus .gif below)

My Day with the iPad Kindle App

This summer my resolution was to determine if I wanted to join the ebook revolution. Like many people, I felt like I would miss the joy of holding a physical book and turning the pages. With a real book, a quick 90 degree turn could tell you how much of the book you have left. I knew I would miss these little joys, but nonetheless as a technology geek, I needed to give ebooks a chance. Memorial Day was the gauntlet was set.

10:30 – After breakfast, I set out with my bike and my iPad for an exercise/reading excursion. I have been reading the ESPN book since Wednesday on my iPad Kindle app. Using the app at home has been real enjoyable. Real Books 0. iPad 1
11:43 – I stop off at the World Financial Plaza for a hot dog. I read a couple of pages of the ESPN book, but the glare on the iPad is really annoying. I can barely read the screen, but I gotta take the good with the bad. Earlier this week, I was reading in bed, in the dark. That was a great experience. Kindle’s can’t do that unless you have a little wiener light.
12:15 – I stop at Pier 17 for some more reading. Again no matter if I am in the shade or not the screen is very hard to read.
1:30 – I stop at Central Park for some Great Lawn reading. Once again no matter my position, I can’t get a clear view at the screen. My eyes are starting to hurt from straining. Real Books 2. iPad 1.
1:45 – iPad overheats and shuts off midpage.
2:00 – Walk into Best Buy. Buy $114 Kindle.
2:15 – Get home, sync Kindle with Kindle app. ESPN book loads to the furthest page I have read.
2:30 – Head to the roof. Lay down on bench. Bend right leg up. Rest Kindle on right leg. Enjoy 3 hours of relaxing hands-free reading (except when I have to press the next page button)
5:30 – Now that was amazing. Real books have been replaced by my Kindle. Daryl was on to something.

The revolution will not be binded. It will not be backlit