In the professional world, people tend to have a specialty. You have people who are great editors, but they can’t write. Or you might have someone who is excellent at crunching numbers, but they are not going to get the deal done. Five years into my professional life, I feel like I have no specialty. I can do a lot of things well, maybe you could even say above average, but I am not super passionate about one specific area of life. I want to do everything.

This is just a lead into profession in which I could be the best of the best of the best:

Grilled Cheese Restaurant Owner
Not to brag, but I make a dynamite grilled cheese. What if I opened a store that only sold grilled cheese sandwiches? You could pick your bread type, type of cheese, and even add something extra (Bacon, Tomato, Avacado, & More!). The overhead wouldn’t be too much. I think I need to explore this in my next life.

An exchange from Saturday Night
Names have been changed to protect the innocent
Laurant (texting Beth): Yes I know its a bar. You told me last night where you were going. I’m not marrying this broad
Laurant: (Mocking his own text) ‘I’m at the red lion next door.’  What the hell am I doing, I can get any girl I want. I don’t know what she looks like, she probably looks like a cow
LG: Time to make a decision, do I keep drinking or do I go find a dude
Laurant: If this girl doesn’t respond, I feel bad for the next girl that sees me. She won’t stand a chance. This girl has no idea what she wants.
(Emo Laurant being consoled by drunk LG. Doesn’t get better)
Ostrowe (via text): I wish you were taping this
Rick: So do I
LG: I really want you to bang Beth on my couch
Ostrowe (via text): Bahaha he’s so supportive
Laurant: I don’t even know what she looks like. How am I gonna find her?
LG: Come on I’ll find her in 9 minutes
Laurant: That’s kind of a long time
LG: I was going to say 9 seconds, but that didn’t seem realistic. Wasn’t going to be able to do that
(3 Hours Later)
Laurant: I’m ok. I’ll talk to u later. Beth is awesome

Since Dec 2009, any entrepreneurial gumshoe would have noticed that me keeping my Peanut Butter and Jelly at work was a sign that I was dating someone. (You can’t make PBJ the night before, it gets soggy). I’ve decided to leave them there in perpetuity just in case someone catches on to the trend

The only negative here is that if I ever want butter and jelly on my toast in the morning or PBJ on the weekend, I am out of luck. Now I know what you are thinking, “Why don’t you just buy some peanut butter and jelly for your apartment too.” I’ll tell you why, because then I will be opening Pandora’s box. Soon I’d be buying a loaf of bread for home and for work. OJ for home and for work. Throw pillows for home and work. I’m not going down that road.

Movies to see this summer:
X Men: First Class
Lost in Translation
Garden State (Don’t judge me. Not sure how I have never seen this. Thanks in advance Netflix)
Tree of Life
Super 8
The Art of Getting By
30 Minutes or Less
Insidious
Hesher

Last night the Mavs defeated LeBron James and the Heat to capture their first ever title. With the majority of the country ecstatic that the Heat did not win a championship, I can’t help but remember the times when Dallas was the defacto worst team in the league since that was the first team you played against in NBA Jam. It is also worth pointing out that the fact that America was rooting for the German is a complete 180 from every good guy v bad guy movie of the 60s, 70s, 80s, and even 90s to some extent

I never realized how beautiful this place was

Song for this Post:
How It Ends – Devotchka
The song from the end of Little Miss Sunshine, and more recently the Gears of War 2 commercial is fantastic background music for any routine activity. Doing housework while listening to this song instantly becomes 10x more awesome. Devotchka is Russian for girl, and was brought into the American nomenclature by the movie Clockwork Orange. In addition, this is also the first band I have ever seen fall into the “Gypsy Punk” genre on Wikipedia. Look for this song to enter my iTunes top 25 by the end of the year.

Fantasy Cred > Street Cred?
Street Cred doesn’t really fly with the mainstream (though strippers do love when athletes make it rain) and there are a ton of people playing fantasy. The Giants gave Brandon Jacobs three tries to score from the 1 yard line this past Sunday. I just like to believe that Jacobs told Coughlin, “Come on coach, I need to get the six. I can’t have the fantasy guys thinking I’m a punk who can’t score”

The Lesnar/Couture fight Saturday was terrible. Everyone is saying Lesnar is the next big thing in MMA. I still think he is an oaf. UFC practically jobbed Couture. He is 45 years old and 40 lbs lighter than Lesnar. They badmouthed how EliteXC was using Kimbo, and this is pretty much the same tactic. Just replace Internet street fighter with WWE fighter.

I will admit, however, Lesnar has a much better chance of learning how to become a MMA fighter. In a few years he should be a legit fighter, so long as no one asks him to pull off a shooting star press..

It is funny how there are people on both sides during every election that feel like the world is going to end if their candidate is not elected.

This may seem like I am fawning over Obama for all the wrong reasons, but he is a tech addict and that is awesome. Weekly YouTube “fireside” chats. He is a crackberry addict (they want to take it away from him since all emails the President sends become public domain, that could get messy), and he wants to be the first President to have a laptop in the oval office.

That being said, I have ZERO political credibility

Last Obama related entry, I promise. On 60 Minutes he was discussing how he wants to fight to get a college football playoff instituted.
1) He probably should focus on some more important issues.
2) While at one time I also proposed a way to fix the BCS (in not nearly as public a forum). But over the years my tune has started to change. I have started falling in line with the “the entire season is a playoff” way of thinking. If teams win their games, they have nothing to worry about.
3) Obama will lose this fight. There is too much money tied up in the bowl system and the NCAA is too stubborn.

Walking around Brooklyn I find myself clinging to the belief that the random lone “white” guy walking around is way more ominous than a group of locals

The L train is the godfather of subways. My life would be enriched if I was able to ride it everyday

After I went on a rant against fake viral videos, I admitted that I have been very cynical as of late. Rob was quick to point out that everyone who shops for apartments in NY will eventually become cynical.

Drunk Anfron + Drunk Joyce = Danger to Society
And I can’t wait till the Preakness because of it. Will we actually get a Boces Van like Joyce said? Only time will tell.

ESPN is now paying 25 Million per year to put the British Open solely on ESPN. Today they just added the BCS for 125 Million per year. First time a golf major has been only on cable, and the first time a major sport championship will be decided on cable. ESPN survives on their subscribers fees, and at this rate, they seem like they want to buy everything in the known sporting universe. The networks are not going to be able to compete. At some point, even ESPN will run out of enough hours in the day to promote all their partners.

Just a straight link here. I must be out of my cynical phase already because I really want this to be real.

A conclusion is simply a place where someone got tired of thinking

Please welcome Gentlemanly Productions into existence after an overwhelming number of you preferred that name and logo over the now defunct MCs & JsTs.

Speaking of that we know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever be whelmed? (h/t 10 Things)

Recent developments have brought to my attention another absolutely ridiculous name. J’Nathan Bullock. That’s not even clever. I’m speechless. It is worth noting that last time I made a similar statement in this space (See JamesOn Curry), I wound up developing an unhealthy man-crush on said person. Do the fates have a similar plan in store for me this time? Survey says: No.

Ostrowe makes a good point, J’Gaboo Bullock would be a much worse, yet hilarious, name.

I’m not sure if this whole Elliot Spitzer thing is more funny, or more sad. I am sure however, that it is a wonderful example of schadenfreude.

The website promised “university students, runway models, actresses and exotic dancers”, ready to “make your dreams come true”.

The allusions to prostitution are awesome. And the best part, due to the wonder that is the internet within 24 hours tons of hilarious shirts have popped up all over the place. Here is a taste of a few:
– Client 9
– Client 8
– Client 1
– Client 69
– Client $ (May be a figment of my imagination)
– A jersey type shirt with the name Spitzer and number 9
– I’m not only the governor, I’m also a client

In all honesty though, I feel bad for his family. They are going to have to put up with all this shit and it was no fault of their own.

Following the Prostitution Ring theme, why doesn’t anyone investigate Stanley Steamer? First off, have you ever seen one of their commercials? Some lonely housewife is complaining that her carpet needs a good cleaning. Then this “reputable company” sends a gentleman in uniform over, he provides a service, the company gets paid and maybe the employee may receive a little extra from the housewife. Second, there is the obvious Cleveland Bureau connection. I’m not saying, I’m just saying. If you find me face down in a ditch sometime soon, you will know I stumbled across something.

: Pupino was in surprisingly good shape yesterday, likely due to the appearance of his parents and his new girlfriend
: I am having trouble processing that last statement
: As was I until I started talking to her and realized that she is borderline retarded.
: FUNNY!

Recent Chain of Gentleman running joke: _______ still _______
The guy from paddy’s still owes me a wing
Yvonne is still trying to get the taste of Ostrowe’s urine out of her mouth
The Tiger Lounge still smells like shize
the MC still has $100
Vin’s Queso Dip is still delicious
(there are too many good ones to list them all)

Judgment day is tomorrow for Syracuse. If they don’t beat Mar state, they are out. Even if they win, they are not guaranteed entrance. Here’s to Gerry MacNamara and the 2006 Big East Tournament.

Post Script: Syracuse is 2-0 this year when I buy tickets to their games and don’t go. In retrospect I should have sprung for the tickets. What a disaster. That was depressing. The lone highlight of the game was the picture text I got from Mar featuring a piece of paper with “Cuse” written on it, in the toilet, with someone peeing on it.

J’RickOn Signing Off