In the professional world, people tend to have a specialty. You have people who are great editors, but they can’t write. Or you might have someone who is excellent at crunching numbers, but they are not going to get the deal done. Five years into my professional life, I feel like I have no specialty. I can do a lot of things well, maybe you could even say above average, but I am not super passionate about one specific area of life. I want to do everything.
This is just a lead into profession in which I could be the best of the best of the best:
Minor League 100 Meter Sprinter (City Division)
For the most part people, that are really fast are going to be pros. And most other fast people will doing other sports. There is a huge opportunity in minor league sprinting. However, a hundred meter dash on a track is boring. A hundred meter dash on an active street in NYC would be awesome. With plenty of experience running to catch trains, I feel I would excel in this sport.
DJ for Hipsters
This job would be a cake walk. It would easy to focus on the job at hand since I wouldn’t want to socialize with clientele. If you play old, ironic music, they will love it. If you play random songs no one has ever heard of, inevitably one hipster will notice no one knows the song and they will claim to have had it on their iPod. Then the room will listen to the whole song and may even agree that it is a good song.
Sprinkle in some Matt and Kim, Black Keys, and Arcade Fire.
For the record, I do enjoy the last three bands mentioned, however, that doesn’t mean they are not hipster bands.
Grilled Cheese Restaurant Owner
Not to brag, but I make a dynamite grilled cheese. What if I opened a store that only sold grilled cheese sandwiches? You could pick your bread type, type of cheese, and even add something extra (Bacon, Tomato, Avacado, & More!). The overhead wouldn’t be too much. I think I need to explore this in my next life.
An exchange from Saturday Night
Names have been changed to protect the innocent
Laurant (texting Beth): Yes I know its a bar. You told me last night where you were going. I’m not marrying this broad
Laurant: (Mocking his own text) ‘I’m at the red lion next door.’ What the hell am I doing, I can get any girl I want. I don’t know what she looks like, she probably looks like a cow
LG: Time to make a decision, do I keep drinking or do I go find a dude
Laurant: If this girl doesn’t respond, I feel bad for the next girl that sees me. She won’t stand a chance. This girl has no idea what she wants.
(Emo Laurant being consoled by drunk LG. Doesn’t get better)
Ostrowe (via text): I wish you were taping this
Rick: So do I
LG: I really want you to bang Beth on my couch
Ostrowe (via text): Bahaha he’s so supportive
Laurant: I don’t even know what she looks like. How am I gonna find her?
LG: Come on I’ll find her in 9 minutes
Laurant: That’s kind of a long time
LG: I was going to say 9 seconds, but that didn’t seem realistic. Wasn’t going to be able to do that
(3 Hours Later)
Laurant: I’m ok. I’ll talk to u later. Beth is awesome
Since Dec 2009, any entrepreneurial gumshoe would have noticed that me keeping my Peanut Butter and Jelly at work was a sign that I was dating someone. (You can’t make PBJ the night before, it gets soggy). I’ve decided to leave them there in perpetuity just in case someone catches on to the trend
The only negative here is that if I ever want butter and jelly on my toast in the morning or PBJ on the weekend, I am out of luck. Now I know what you are thinking, “Why don’t you just buy some peanut butter and jelly for your apartment too.” I’ll tell you why, because then I will be opening Pandora’s box. Soon I’d be buying a loaf of bread for home and for work. OJ for home and for work. Throw pillows for home and work. I’m not going down that road.
Movies to see this summer:
X Men: First Class
Lost in Translation
Garden State (Don’t judge me. Not sure how I have never seen this. Thanks in advance Netflix)
Tree of Life
The Art of Getting By
30 Minutes or Less
Last night the Mavs defeated LeBron James and the Heat to capture their first ever title. With the majority of the country ecstatic that the Heat did not win a championship, I can’t help but remember the times when Dallas was the defacto worst team in the league since that was the first team you played against in NBA Jam. It is also worth pointing out that the fact that America was rooting for the German is a complete 180 from every good guy v bad guy movie of the 60s, 70s, 80s, and even 90s to some extent
I never realized how beautiful this place was